Tuesday, February 05, 2008

"Hi, my name is Joe Blow, and I'm calling to urge you to vote for my law school roommate, Dick Douchebag, who is running for Cook County dog catcher."

OK, maybe that's exaggerated.

But not by much.

Now I know why they call it "Super Tuesday."

It's because it takes super-human willpower to keep from ripping the fucking phone off the fucking wall and fucking flushing it down the fucking toilet.

13 comments:

  1. HA! Hee hee!

    I only got ONE of these calls. The earnest young woman caller sounded disappointed when I told her who I was going to vote, err, caucus for (for whom I was going to vote, err, caucus?) I'm such a dog. Woof.

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  2. They're all crooks. Every last one of 'em. I HATE this time of year. Like having an automated voice call me in the middle of dinner will endear me to your cause/candidate? Ummmm...not a snowball's chance in hell.

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  3. I've decided to believe everything I hear... which of course means they're all assholes just like everybody else says about them so...

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  4. Steady now, steady...it's almost over...

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  5. Interestingly, both Joe Blow and Dick Douchebag called here earlier... also, the Terminator.

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  6. A Truly Global Phenomenon.

    They shit me to tears.

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  7. Whoa wait a second sarah... you mean you got one from a REAL LIVE HUMAN?? These are usually fucking RECORDINGS so you can't even SCREAM at them. All you can do is scream and slam the phone down... and well.. what poppy said... try not to rip it out of the wall and shove it up someones... uh.. yeah. To hell with flushing it. That would just make me have to pay the freaking plumber to unclog the damn thing.

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  8. And suburban... hate to tell you but it's NOT almost over. Because as soon as THIS wave of them is over, then an even bigger one begins for November. We got 8+ frickin' MONTHS left of this. I may SERIOUSLY consider caller ID on a temporary basis...

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  9. The Terminator called here too. He calls frequently during these campaigns but never any other time. Scarlett Johansson called yesterday. When did she get my number?

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  10. Oh, Poppy, I've got a little something for you over at my blog.

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  11. Reader - ScarJo called here as well and I gave her your number... I was sort of hoping it would Oprah.

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  12. You answer the phone? Caller ID.

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  13. Poppy! You used more fucks in a post than I did.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.