Three things you can't see in the above:
1. Me. But trust me; I was there.
2. The HUGE cross on my forehead the priest put on me at our noontime Ash Wednesday service. She* might as well have used a can of spray paint, because she didn't so much mark me as tag me.
You've heard of people playing chess using people as the players--like the moving statues in the first Harry Potter movie? Well, by the end of the service, the cathedral was like a huge game of tic-tac-toe (noughts and crosses, if you're anglophilic). We were all Crosses wondering when the Noughts were going to show up.
3. My newly-waxed eyebrows. See, in today's Gospel lesson we were enjoined to look happy when we fast, and put oil on our heads and other extremely unappealing Ancient World things like that. But I did have four hours to kill between services, so I went to a spa that takes walk ins and had a manicure, pedicure, and a brow wax.
Not to brag or anything, but I was definitely the best-groomed penitent at the six o'clock service.
It's true! My fingernails (a deep mulberry color) matched my choir robe exactly.
* I'm an Episcopalian, which means we can call our ministers priests. Even though many of them are female. In this, as in many ways, we fuck with people's heads.
And may you continue to do so.
ReplyDeleteMust whoop up the Catholics, no end.
I was so jealous of all of you yesterday that I nearly rubbed some mud on my head.
ReplyDeleteI never thought of taking "happy fasting" to that level. Brilliant!
ReplyDeletePS - sooo.... when do I get my scarf? ;-)
Oh yeah, you can totally see that your eyebrows are absolutely perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe Catholics are too busy trying to remember Latin to be vexed by much these days.
ReplyDelete-J.
P.S. All I got was a dot of ashes, of which I made a righteous mess.
OMG, I looked like I had been attacked by a chimney sweep. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteShula: Amen!
ReplyDeleteBlackbird: In a pinch, cigarette ashes will do. I learned this from one of my Catholic pals.
Oh, and Miss Britt--your scarf is in my dining room with all the other bloggy loot waiting for me to get my act in gear, find a box, pack the loot, shovel my driveway, and drive to the P.O. And therefore, the answer to your question is ... "soon-ish."
Jen: They ARE. Unfortunately, my face is still bright red where the wax was used. Lovely.
Joke, this is another advantage to being female. Once you start wearing makeup, you learn that it is disastrous to touch your face, so you don't. Which meant that my cross stayed all clear until I smudged it by putting on a knit cap. Because there was a snowstorm going on. Which is not something you'll ever have to deal with. But remember, if you ever become a drag queen--no smudging the makeup!
You're welcome.
And what's all this about remembering Latin? You guys are supposed to be the only people who still learn it. Well, you guys and prep school students.
fannie mae: Some of us looked like Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer.
Now I'm wondering where our priest got the ashes for Wednesday...my forehead looked suspiciously like Marlboro leftovers.
ReplyDeleteNot all of us, and even someone of my caliber needs some refreshin'.
ReplyDelete-J.