I don't have to post today, even though I'm a member of Blog365. We're supposed to blog every day, but we get February 29th off for good behavior.Unfortunately, February 29th is a Friday--I don't know whether you've noticed--and Friday is my day to post to Mamarazzi. And I knew the other Mamas would think I was being extremely lazy, irresponsible, and sleazy if I blew off today due to some Blog365 loophole. And that means I've already posted today. Here.
I figure since I'm not getting the day off, I might as well post over here. The thing is, I don't have anything to say. (But when has that ever stopped me? she asked rhetorically.) So I thought I'd treat you to something I find indescribably funny. It's from The Good Housekeeping Housekeeping Book, which was published--no doubt to great acclaim--in 1947.
But first, another visual aid:
And now, from the lips of The Good Housekeeping Housekeeping Book itself, the low-down on that long-neglected art--that of ironing bras:
• To Iron Brassieres Set heat control according to the fabric. In ironing brassieres the cup-like fullness presents the only problem.1 To avoid wrinkles in these areas,2 iron toward the center of each cup turning the brassiere on the board until the entire area is smooth and dry. Then iron the flat sections and the brassiere straps.
Tip for the inexperienced: make sure you're not actually wearing the brassiere.
1 See how lucky you flat-chested girls are?
2 The fuller-breasted of us deal with bra cups wrinkling by stuffing our enormous mammaries into the cups. Ironing? Why bother? Frankly, our bra cups couldn't wrinkle if we got our bras sopping wet, twisted them like broomstick skirts, ran them through a wringer, and baked them dry.
I'd iron my brassieres, but I might dammage the safety pins and duct tape holding them together.
ReplyDeleteBras can WRINKLE?
ReplyDeleteNope, not here. Mine do cry at night, though. 'We thought we were going to be holding up something....daintier!'
Sucks to be them!
And, you know, I think those old maidenform bras may be just what I need...I don't mind ironing and I cannot find anything to wrangle these boobs into submission.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was built like you, Poppy, and had these humongous cotton bras, which were always wrinkly. She, too, eliminated the wrinkles simply by stuffing herself into them.
ReplyDeleteWhich reminds me of the time she set off the airport security alarm. Turns out the miles of metal underwires in her bra and girdle set them off.
The security guy figured this out, giggled and turned five shades of red.