Malibooooooo ... Malibu swingers!

This is what I like best about vacationing in L.A.: nobody expects you to find your way around the subway/Metro/tube.

No, they expect you to get in your goddamned rental car and drive somewhere. So we did.

After we got our bottles of spring water. You know--in case we were threatened with hydration.

We drove up the Pacific Coast Highway to Malibu. It was picturesque!

Then we got coffee and did a little shopping. My husband bought sunglasses at Becker's surf shop. The sales associates were all hunky, tanned, and blond. It was like Gidget was in the dressing room trying on bikinis. I bought a few things for my son.

Then we went to Duke's for lunch.


Duke's is a chain, and the Malibu location is its easternmost location. Most of the rest of the restaurants are in Hawaii. Surfing decor abounds.

Look, either you get compound, complex sentence structure or you get pictures. You don't get both. Deal with it.

We had fish tacos. They were good, she added, feeling Hemingway-esque. Before the tacos we had panko-fried calamari and macademia nut, cream cheese, and shrimp-filled fried wontons drizzled with plum sauce. They were amazing.

I had two Mai Tais. We looked right out over the water. I killed brain cells

in a terse, monosyllabic way. Lunch was great. What can I say? The bartender floated a LOT of dark rum on top of those Mai Tais.

Then we drove home a different scenic route: over the mountains to Mulholland Drive.


See how far away we are from the ocean?

Here are some mountains.



It was amazing. You know people spend $60 for a day at Disneyland where they wait in line to go on a ride called "Mullholland Drive." When the real thing is out there, ready to be driven on FOR FREE.

Then we headed back into the city, through some interesting neighborhoods. Sherman Oaks seemed to have great antiques/consignment/thrift/head shops.


What a chance to pick up a new bong--but the kids were in the back of the car. And so back to our hotel.

Where I decided to take a bawth.



Because who could resist a tub like that?