Monday, April 07, 2008


When you're a Girl Scout leader, you have to think on your feet. Especially when the school nurse, who was supposed to talk to the girls about puberty, bailed. And left us with a Girl Scout meeting to run, and nothing to talk about.

And we were sure as hell not talking about puberty. Not with our daughters in the room.

So we decided to do a badge about good grooming. Today was a mini-spa day.

And that's why, this afternoon, I found myself trying to teach the basics of good skin care to a troop of Girl Scouts.

I'm not trying to pass myself off as an expert. I mean, OK, I am just a little wee bit addicted to cosmetics and such-like. The problem is how do I take my knowledge of alpha- and beta-hydroxy acids, peptides, light-defusers, collagen, elastin, fermented seaweed broth, vitamin-C , and copper serums and turn it into a nice simple skincare regime for these adorable 10 and 11 year olds? With their adorable little faces that looked like perfect little peaches?

They're the ones who should be teaching me how to have beautiful skin.

I mean, here I'd read up on Benzoyl Peroxide and all the stuff they put in acne medications these days only to discover that my daughter is apparently the only one in the troop who has ever had a pimple.

There was nothing for it. They were already perfect. I told them to keep their faces clean and wear sunscreen. Then we played with the supplies I brought.

We smeared Queen Helene Grape Seed peel-off mask onto the backs of our hands and let it dry.
And when the goop dried, we peeled it off to see whether we could get it off in one piece. And shrieked with laughter at how weird it looked.

And now the top of my left hand is lovely, soft, and smooth. But the rest of me looks and feels like Granny Clampet. Or maybe Grandma Moses.

Without the outsider art talent.


  1. That's the kind of girl scout troop I could have used.

  2. Damn, I forgot all about that mask! And the other one -- not the green one -- the egg yolk one, I think? Awesome. Now I have to hit CVS today.

  3. Jesus. Between the church and the girl guides I'm begin to think you are just a closet scrapbooker.

  4. Cracking up at kim's comment.

    You know, you could have totally had the outsider art thing going if you and the girls had made a mosaic out of your peeled-off masks. Two badges in one day!

  5. I have always thought they should just make huge vats of peel off masks so we could just dive in. Then we wouldn't go around with smooth patches on our faces. And backs of our hands. And nowhere else.

  6. I'm still snickering at the idea that you won't talk about puberty with the daughters in the room. Excellent save with the hand-facials (Hacials?)

  7. You should have used those nose strips on the girls. The ones that when they peel off have all the stuff that was in your pores still stuck to them. They would have gotten a kick out of checking out the gunk on those after they peeled them off.

  8. I thought about that, spring, but I'm glad I didn't pop for boxes of nose strips. Trust me: these girls didn't HAVE any gunk in their pores.


  9. Next time, do the one about the hand written thank-you notes.



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