And so, to Hell.

What I did at church today:

• Arrived early. Yay me!
• Put on mulberry colored surplice. (It matches my nails.)
  
• Warmed up. Rehearsed today's music.
• Put on cotta.
• Went outside to plaza. Got prayed at. Processed to the front of the church.
• Processed in while singing hymn. Loudly.
• Turned around and mouthed the word "DOUCHE" at the tenor who was singing an octave higher than the music indicated. Made him laugh. Also the tenor sitting next to him. Also myself.
• Read the bulletin. Admired my nails. And my rings.
  
• Listened to the sermon. Did you know our vicar hates eggs? NEITHER DID I.
• Sang.
• Took communion.
• Prayed.
• Processed out.
• Snagged a cup of coffee and two chocolate chip cookies.
• Rehearsed music for this afternoon's evensong.
• Lunchbreak. Skipped lunch and went for a walk with my pal Liz. (She says hi.)
• Went back to church. Back into the surplice again. Warmed up again. Put on cotta again.
• Checked out everyone's academic hoods. Asked rude personal questions about where their degrees were from. Processed in.
• Mimed handling snakes and drinking poison during the reading. Made sopranos laugh.
• Sang.
• Rolled my eyes over the extreme tediousness and length of the sermon.
• Admired nails and rings some more.
  
• Noticed that since there were more of us in the choir stalls than in the congregation, the preacher actually was preaching to the choir.
• Processed out.