Saturday, April 19, 2008

From Mrs Poppy Buxom

From MRS POPPY BUXOM
38 Rue Des Salopes
WEWANTYOURMONEY, PARTOFAFRICAYOUHAVENEVERHEARDOF

ATTN: MOST CREDULOUS INDIVIDUAL OF INTERNET

I am the above named person from GOBBLDEGOOKISTAN. I am married to Mr RESPECTABLE NAME, who worked with GOBBLDEGOOKISTAN embassy in PARTOFAFRICAYOUHAVENEVERHEARDOF for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. DO NOT BE CONCERNED ABOUT HIS DEATH, FOR AS A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION, HE SUFFERED NO PAIN.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. YOU WILL TRUST US NOW. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. I MADE THIS UP BUT IT SOUNDS GOOD. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (YES, THAT'S RIGHT, TWO AND A HALF MILLION DOLLARS) in the bank here in WEWANTYOURMONEY in suspense account. THE SUSPENSE IS WHETHER ANYONE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO FALL FOR THIS.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THAT MONEY JUST GATHERING DUST? NEITHER CAN I. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. GET IT? CANCER AND STROKE? I'M DYING. Having known my condition WHICH IS SERIOUS, I MEAN I'M PROBABLY GOING TO DIE ANY DAY NOW I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I HOPE THAT SOUNDS KIND OF LEGAL.

I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT APPARENTLY IT IS POSSIBLE TO COMMUNICATE FOR FREE OVER THE INTERNET and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained. OR YOU CAN JUST BLOW IT ON A NEW CAR AND A WEEKEND IN VEGAS. WHATEVER. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. ALSO BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN INTELLECT, FOR THEY ARE EASY TO FOOL.

I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians AND LET'S FACE IT: ALL OTHER RELIGIONS SUCK and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. PEOPLE WHO BELONG TO OTHER RELIGIONS CAN FUCK OFF. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. ALTHOUGH IT'S OK THAT YOU PLAN TO SPEND THE MONEY ON A NEW HOUSE AND MAYBE A BOOB JOB FOR THE WIFE. This is why I am taking this decision.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. ALSO, I DON'T EXIST. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. WHICH AS YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD, IS QUITE COMFY. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. PLEASE DO NOT FIND IT ODD THAT WITH THE LORD ON MY SIDE I STILL NEED TO REACH OUT TO TOTAL STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET. I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health AND THE FBI hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I don't want them OR THE FBI to know about this development. With God AND THE INTERNET all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in WEWANTYOURMONEY. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. AND YOU ARE A LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. BLAH BLAH BLAH BIBLE. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. THANK GOD RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE SO GULLIBLE Please always be prayerful all through your life. OK, I GUESS THAT'S ENOUGH TALK ABOUT RELIGION.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information’s. PLEASE SEND ME YOUR FULL NAME, DATE OF BIRTH, AND SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose BECAUSE THERE'S ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. I'M TYPING MY FINGERS TO THE BONE HERE. Hoping to receive your reply SOONER RATHER THAN LATER BECAUSE INTERNET ACCESS DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, AND THE CAFE OWNER IS ALWAYS BUGGING ME TO BUY MORE COFFEE.

Remain blessed in the Lord. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO GIVE

Yours in Christ, FOR MINE IS THEIR MONEY

MRS POPPY BUXOM

9 comments:

  1. Hmmm....someone's been hanging out on the Internet a bit too long...

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  2. I got the EXACT SAME email. I'm sending her my firstborn.

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  3. You really need to read "The Good, The Spam and The Ugly" by Steve H. Graham. The dude spent months corresponding with spammers and promising he would send money but never did. It's a scream.

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  4. Dang, I need to read all those emails I just delete.

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  5. Poppy, after an email like that, I would totally give you money, my SSN and my bank account number. Use them wisely.

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  6. Hey I get that every week.. several times a week sometimes. And I am SO not SHARING any of it.

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  7. Yep got the same email. Hilarious!

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  8. Found you via FSF!

    This was hilarious!

    Dory

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.