Last night, my husband and I went out to dinner, where we ate and drank delicious food (seared scallops and shrimp risotto) and then went to the ballet where we watched extraordinary fit young people dance around wearing very little clothing--and found ourselves regretting the risotto, not to mention the roll before dinner and the three glasses of wine.
Sobbing with remorse over our carb-ridden, exercise-free bodies, we drove off in a cab to our friends' condo, where we drowned our sorrows in another glass of wine.
Shortly afterwards I went to bed, to sleep the sleep of the unjust. And woke up this morning--I don't know the time--with one thought on my mind: I DON'T HAVE TO GET UP. So I went back to sleep.
And didn't wake up until 10:30. Whereupon I woke up and starting clicking around my laptop. Only to see something both weird and funny. I'm drafting a response.
Tune in tomorrow when I kick big porn star butt.