Cookie-ology

Color me disappointed.

I thought I'd lighten my lonely hours spending baking dozens of cookies to bring to church tomorrow by inserting a Youtube clip of Dana Carvey as Church Lady.

So I went to YouTube and typed in "church lady."

What showed up? Not only were there NO Church Lady skits, but my search results included a big fat colored blinking ad for Scientology.

And when you click on it, you end up here.

I know. Ew.

Well, I'm sorry, guys. That you'll shill for your cult on the exact same media outlet that carried that mega-scary leaked interview with Tom Cruise--not to mention his couch-jumping shenanigans--makes you even less appealing that you ordinarily would be.

Not that you had a lot of appeal to begin with. I mean, come on. A so-called "church" that uses Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, and John Travolta as its spokesmen? Is it a church or an '80s pop culture icon convention? A church or a diet endorsement?

And anyway, isn't Scientology a bottom feeder, even for a cult? I swear, the Hare Krishnas have more credibility. Reverend Moon has more credibility. Mary Kay has more credibility. Oh, wait. Mary Kay isn't really a cult.

But even as cults go, Mary Kay cosmetics sales sounds like a better deal. You can even get a pink Cadillac out of it ,if it works out.

So, anyway, sorry, Thetans. I'm loserish enough to stay up past midnight baking cookies for Sunday morning's coffee hour, but this Episcopalian isn't loserish enough to get sucked into Scientology.