Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Things you might not have known

So I'll fill you in.

First of all, did you know that the phrase "baby smooth" doesn't refer to the quality of a baby's skin? See, I thought babies were just incredibly well moisturized. But "baby smooth" refers to the baby's hairlessness. Did you know that? Well, of course you did.

Apparently, I'm the only person on the face of the earth who had never noticed how hairless the average baby was until I gave birth to one. And then I'm like, woah! Check it out! Little dude is smooth!

Internet, I certainly hope you're smarter than I am.

Oh, and I should tell you something else. Driving a car? Is fun. Too bad I only realized this when I was 35.

Here's another little tidbit for you: I'm Neil's new internet crush.

OK, he doesn't realize it himself, but then, what man does? I mean, are we pretty much agreed that men tend to be a wee bit clueless when it comes to understanding their own emotions? OK, then.

I'm not saying the guy is a s-t-a-l-k-e-r or anything like that, but he has commented over here twice this week, and he's following me on Twitter, Facebook, and Plurk. If that's not a crush, I'd like to know what is.

I really hate to think about his disappointment when he discovers I'm married.

Of course, I might not be married much longer. Sure, it's been twenty years, and habits like sleeping in the same bed for decades can be difficult to break, but what marriage can stand up to the strain of putting together the faux cherry "some assembly required" media stand with the two matching cupboards from the Home Decorators catalog?

My husband decided to try to put together the media stand--the thing we're going to put our flat screen TV on--except (and take note of this; it's important) we don't actually own a flat screen TV yet. So there's this huge half-assembled piece of furniture with a single stated function--that it can't do--taking up valuable space in the middle of the living room.

And of course this was the day the housecleaners came. Everything was lovely. And now it looks like an explosion in a particle board factory.

And that is why, tomorrow morning, instead of a flat screen TV on the media stand, my husband will find a letter from my lawyer. Demanding custody of the kids and the flat screen TV (when we get it.)

5 comments:

  1. Get yourself on over to Best Buy (or wherever you get your overpriced electronics) and order the TV yourself.

    And, pay some cute man who is not your husband to finish assembling the furniture.

    Because I'm here to tell you that a new housecleaning session is something that should not be wasted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's at understanding other people's emotions that we're not so good.

    -J.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's the little things that strain a marriage, isn't it? But I'd let him keep the kids.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OK, he gets the kids. But I get the turtle, who is only my hard-shelled semi-aquatic BOYFRIEND. And I don't care who knows it.

    And Joke? I don't care whether the men I know understand my emotions. Unless they're DEAF, I can describe my current emotional state perfectly well. And if they ARE deaf, they can come over to my blog and read all about my emotions IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When we get those put it together yourself things? I plan a business trip to Chicago. When I come back, it's usually put together with only a couple of leftover pieces.

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.