Thursday, November 20, 2008

I am a sleazebag.

I've discovered a fool-proof way to look like a really good person.

Don't get excited--I don't mean in general; I just mean as a volunteer. (The good-person-in-general thing continues to elude me, OK?)

But about volunteering--I have a dream job at the moment. I'm the recording secretary for a non-profit. Now, I volunteered for this job in fear and trembling, because I've been a recording secretary before. And I knew I'd have to go to all the board meetings and take notes and then type up minutes. I've done it before, and it really sucked.

But it seemed preferable to the other job I was offered, so I volunteered to do it.

But here's the cool part: being recording secretary seems awfully arduous to everyone else on the board. So arduous that the previous recording secretary didn't actually produce any minutes. So arduous that our paid administrative assistant keeps complimenting me on what a great job I'm doing with this arduous task.

But I've chaired black tie galas (with my new-found mastery of Latin, I should say "galae.") I've edited newsletters, and produced annual reports, and been in charge of arranging nice luncheon programs for blue-haired old ladies. I've devolved into a blob of protoplasm at any number of dull board meetings.

In comparison, this recording secretary gig? Is totally sweet.

See, I have to attend the board meetings--but I'd be doing that anyway. And taking notes? Well, it beats not really listening and getting bored. And typing up the minutes? Hello? Who's known on the internet as the Princess of Punctuation? Who blogs every day, not because she has anything in particular to say, but because she types 60 words a minute?


So I did the math. The board meetings are almost exactly one hour long. The driving back and forth is another hour and a half, during which I get to listen to an audiobook. And yesterday I typed up, proofed, and emailed out the minutes in 80 minutes.

It's over four hours, but that's in an entire month. That is WAY less time than chairing a fundraiser.

So this is a dream job. No one is going to ask me to do anything else, because everyone thinks I'm working my butt off--when I'm actually doing far less work than usual. And I'm gorging myself on compliments.

On top of which, apparently, I'm totally sexy.

So everything is really great!

The only problem is a few people on this board read this blog.


  1. That's funny, I actually THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON.

  2. If you were a good person, you'd convince TFBIM to do this, instead of chairing galæ AND the board of Teaching The Lepers How To Sing, Inc.


  3. So you finally figured out that she was running the show? How long did that take?

  4. Now I know what job to angle for when I can't say no to Glenn's theater group anymore.

  5. You are brilliant. I am membership vp for my group and it is hours longer than recording secretary. Rec. Sec. is so neat and crisp...record, print and mail, no more, no less.


Gentle Readers:

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xxx, Poppy.