Sunday, December 21, 2008

The internet has kidnapped my son. And swapped him for someone else's son. And that might be the least of my problems.

OK, that was incomprehensible, wasn't it? All right. I'll come in again:

You know how you can catch things from the internet? Like say, Joke's kids are throwing up and the next thing you know, mine are?

(Or is it just me imagining things again?)

Well, maybe this is mere conspiracy theory and/or the bourbon talking, but today I came to a startling realization. My son is turning into one of blackbird's. It might not be too much to say that he has been kidnapped and replaced by one of hers.

Not only is his hair getting really long, not only is he scarily good at Guitar Hero and Rock Band, but now he wants to learn how to play the guitar. Like eldest.

And he asked for a video camera for Christmas. Like middle.

And he's developing quite the smart mouth, a la Youngest.

Will it stop here? I think not. Just today I was shopping for puffy coats on Bluefly. Which leads me to believe that I'm turning into blackbird.

Look, I know this sounds crazy, but if my husband starts to get taller, I'm calling the FBI.

7 comments:

  1. I wish some of that coolness would rub off on me.

    If you get a puffy coat, do we get to see it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, but when the kid asks for a video camera, you can email them for help like I did. Glenn asked for the same thing this year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, my children suffer from Magical Thinking and don't bother to tell me they want something until it's pretty much too late to ask for help.

    My son decided to ask for a videocamera while he was talking to Santa at a children's party on Saturday. On the 20th. After I had ordered him a bunch of other things.

    So he's getting an iFlip.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Next year I will try to remember to forward their Christmas lists directly to you - this year, Oldest asked for parts for his dirt bike, Middle wanted a floor-tom for his drum set and Youngest asked for Rock Band 2.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There are worse families you could be turning into. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's pretty much just NOS who does the throwing up. If NTS is throwing up, ambulances are imminent. (The latter just flops in bed and mopes.)

    That said, NOS verily doth kick arse at Guitar Hero and so forth AND he's taking guitar classes (all he does is play the blues, which is weird) AND drum classes.

    -J.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sigh. We've decided to buy the boy an electric guitar for his birthday. This will make two instruments he won't practice enough or at all. And then I there's that piano I never play.

    Honestly, you'd think I'd pick flutes or something easier to fit into a small house. Who needs all these big hulking instruments hanging around getting in the way and inspiring guilt?

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.