It was kind of like going grocery shopping while hungry, except more expensive.

OK, so I had a bunch of stuff to do today.

For one thing, my 12-year-old daughter had a sleepover birthday party on Saturday night, and her guests found her stash of Glamorous Dress Up Accessories, including two bright red feather boas that a friend sent us once in the mistaken belief that we would make a darling Mother/Daughter draq queen/drag princess. Instead, in a rare moment of maturity, I let my daughter take both boas.

Well, exactly what you'd expect to happen when you combine a bunch of 12-year-olds and two bright red feather boas happened. And now my entire house is covered in feathers.

In addition to dealing with the feathers, today's plans also included a much-needed gym work-out, a few piles of laundry, and some correspondence. Basically, that was supposed to be my day.

But then the long-awaited Mamarazzi update started happening, and if you think I was seeing red, what with the feathers all over the floor, you should have seen me then. Because it wasn't going all that well.

Then the mail showed up with my children's grades. I'm not saying their grades were disappointing or below par, and there's nothing wrong with growing up to become a school bus driver like Otto in The Simpsons. But I did have a sudden, uncontrollable need to shove M&Ms down my pie hole.

So is it any wonder that I called up Ballard Designs and ordered this


to take the place of a somewhat elderly Sheraton-style loveseat that badly needs reupholstering (or maybe FreeCycling, because it is not comfortable and never has been?)

Or that I bought this to put in front of it. Upholstered in a fabric they call "Toffee check."


Mmmm, toffee.

Honestly, it's lucky I had already budgeted for a few new pieces because actually calling up and ordering them kept me from burning my house down, filing for insurance, and ordering the entire Pottery Barn catalog.