Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tonight my son asked me if my blog is about sex, and other stories.

OK, yes, I admit it; I haven't been posting. And why is that?

Well, we have just been as busy as bees here in Buxomville. I finished up one long slog of tedious volunteer work only to be pitchforked into the boot camp that is the Eighth Grade Play.

So I'm volunteering again, but it could be worse, because I'm actually spending a lot of time in a dark auditorium taking craptastic out-of-focus pictures of the play, which means I'm watching a play, and that isn't exactly scrubbing toilets, you know?

Also, my son is the male lead, which means I get to spend extra time with him, and, unlike many of those other mommybloggers out there, I actually enjoy doing that very much.

For one thing, he laughs at my jokes.

And yet, there are moments when I question my ability to plumb the depths of his almost 14-year-old brain. Like for example, tonight, when he asked me whether my blog is about sex.

Now, I explained the difference between writing a blog about sex, and writing a blog where I actually use the occasional swear word. For example, when I say "shit," I'm definitely not talking about sex, and I apologize to all of you for getting your hopes up.

But, even though my blog is not about sex, I'm not feeling so minty-fresh about posting.

See, the kids at school have discovered my blog. And my mother-in-law has discovered my twitter. And between the little kids and the grandparents, I've developed a touch of writer's block.

Well, not really. I just haven't fucking felt like posting. Not with all of you reading over my shoulder, for Christ's sake.

See? Now I'm swearing, and my son is squirming in embarrassment, and mothers of the kids who are reading this blog? I totally apologize for my use of robust Anglo-Saxon phraseology.

But allow me to reiterate: I'm still not talking about sex.

Oh God even as I type, kids are texting all over town MRS BUXOM = POTTYMOUTH.

But I guess that's OK.

I mean, honestly. I've been on the internet since before they were born. It's time they knew. All that internet danger they hear about? I INVENTED IT.

8 comments:

  1. Ack. The kids at school!
    Next thing you know, someone will do a spoof/parody/homage/satire of your blog.


    Because that's definitely going around.

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  2. My husband joined twitter and that squeezed the fun right out for me. For some reason, I don't want my husband to follow me.

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  3. I don't really understand about Twitter and how it may connect to actual blogging. I probably should, because I have been called a twit once or twice in my life, but... I can understand the reading-over-ones-shoulder feeling. But I think you definitely have the right attitude. Rock on!

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  4. I'm convinced there's no such thing as internet anonymity, and that every person born after 1980 knows more about decoding people's identity online than I do. It's best to hide in plain sight.

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  5. Well, crap! You are going to have to assume another identity. Even though you like your kids (and I assume that wasn't just pandering) you can't just willy nilly bitch about someone you ran into at the school who was a bat shit crazy freak now that they might read it and call you on it!

    And that is what bloggin is for, right??

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  6. I'm abut to write a post about giving birth. Let's hope their friends read that when they're old enough to know what a vagina is, and not before, which might not scar them enough.

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  7. Every time I think of who I know that may be reading my blog, I shudder. Then I realize that they already knew I was a foul mouthed jackass so they really shouldn't be shocked right?

    It does limit me on topics though bc trust me, there are a few women in my neighborhood who NEED to be discussed!

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.