Monday, November 16, 2009

I'm not dead yet,

but I drove my mother to the airport today.

After a visit spanning five of the longest days I have ever experienced.

Longer and as grueling as the days I've given birth.

Longer and as painful as the days I've had root canal surgery.

Longer and more tedious than the time I sat in the school auditorium listening to kindergarten, first, and second grade students perform a Winter Concert that--(because singing songs about Santa or Frosty the Snowman would be too cliché)--was a musical tribute to the first flight of Wilbur and Orville Wright at Kitty Hawk--and no, I am not kidding.

Then there was the rainy day I graduated from college, and--after processing in with the rest of the cap-and-gown-wearing seniors--forgot to tip the accumulated rain out of my folding chair, and spent the entire graduation ceremony sitting in a cold, wet puddle.

My mother's visit reminded me of all these delights. AND MORE.

At the moment, the experience has left me feeling like a very old pencil. My wit is like the point; it's dull and might even be broken. My brain is the eraser end; it's worn down to a nub. My paint is showing wear, and in places, it looks like someone has been chewing on me.

You see, I decided that I would NOT HAVE A FIGHT WITH MY MOTHER no matter how hard she tried to make one happen.

Internet, I shall return.

After I've sharpened my wit.


  1. Oooh.. Go get yourself a margarita and a slice of that nice lemon meringue pie.


  2. Your mother was in town? You should have said! I'd have sent a bottle of something. Like Everclear. Or maybe chloroform.

  3. Drinking a toast to you. I'm sucking it up and spending Thanksgiving AND Xmas with my mom, after basically avoiding her for the better part of a year.

    Hey! Now we know how not to be with our kids....

    There's that.


  4. You were totally the 'good daughter.' I applaud you. NOW... get back into your life and live it.

  5. Oh, girl, I feel your pain. I am willingly driving 9 hours to spend Thanksgiving with my parents. I'm stuffing down the joy already. :|

    Bet it won't take long for you to find the sharpener.

  6. A Winter Concert about the Wright Brothers?


    Never mind, I don't think I really want to know.

  7. "My mother is a spiritual vampire."

    I have made some great friends bonding over difficult mothers.

  8. The painful deaths? Have you NOT been to a fifth grade orchestra tribute to the classics????

    (I laughed out loud woman..)

  9. Sounds like your wit is plenty sharp already!

  10. THAT must have been mightily frustrating for your mother. Well done.

  11. In the "I'm not dead yet vein":Buy your mom beautiful things as presents. You'll get them back pretty soon, unless you have evil siblings, too.


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.