In which I defy the space/time continuum

I was plagued by a series of physical ailments today.

Between my sore knee and hip socket (from Thursday's fall,) a sore eye (from wearing crazy glittery eye shadow to a cocktail party on Friday night and stupidly falling into bed in a drunken stupor falling asleep without taking off my eye makeup,) and a sore back (from standing around my fire-damaged condo discussing renovation plans and then pushing around an overloaded grocery cart,) I was feeling the weight of my years.

In fact, I was feeling the weight of more years than I've actually lived. By a few decades.

My lower back hurt, my hip hurt, my knee hurt, and my right eye hurt. "This is what it's like to be 83," I said to myself. And then I went out and told those pesky kids to get off my lawn.

And then tonight, at a dinner party, I was told I look 32.

So basically, in one day, I managed to add and then subtract several decades. With almost no effort on my part.

If Alfred Einstein could come back from the dead, I could win him another Nobel prize.

I'll let you know how young I am tomorrow morning. When I've sobered up.