Thank goodness for YouTube.
Let me get you up to speed. The high school freshman is undergoing his first set of final exams--at present, trying to cram an entire semester's worth of Environmental Geoscience into his brain. And I can't really help, because what the hell is Environmental Geoscience, anyway?
He just asked me "Mom, what does 'stabilize' mean?" And I said "to make stable; to keep from fluctuating; to put into an equilibrium; to keep from flying into millions of tiny pieces."
Meanwhile, that's what my other child is trying to make me do.
Today I was criticized for, among other things, not making her wash dishes or run errands. This is apparently Treating Her Like a Baby. Other kids have chores. Why haven't I assigned her chores? Like buying the groceries. That would be helpful and responsible, wouldn't it? Why don't I make her do that?
I tried reasoning with her. I explained that when the closest store is a half-hour's walk away, there aren't many errands a twelve year old can do.
I tried telling her that until she develops stricter habits of personal hygiene, food-handling is not advisable, and had she ever heard of Typhoid Mary?
My arguments were found wanting.
Internet, I officially give up. I'm lying on my bed with the down comforter over my legs. I'm drinking tea and blogging, and I'm not coming out until everyone in this house is a grown up. Yes, it'll be 15 years or so until that happens, but when you're a parent, you take the long view.
In the meantime, I can, if asked politely, Google things like "geothermal energy" and "ethanol pros and cons."
So what's this about YouTube?
Greatest. child. threat. ever. Mothers of six- and seven-year-olds? You'll thank me for this:
If you don't stop arguing with me, I'm going to record you with the digital video camera and upload it to my YouTube account.