Because I am a famous beauty and style blogger as well as a compulsive shopper, I don't just get the usual email from online retailers. I also get flooded with PR pitches as well as newsletters from every beauty and style board I've ever joined. Which means that every time a new product comes out, I'm going to hear about it at least three times.
Which is three times more than I want to hear about Urban Decay's "new" highlighting product.
I remember when I first moved to the suburbs and had to deal with massive numbers of trick or treaters. At the end of the night, there were a few bold teenagers who were willing to risk being told they were too old to go trick or treating.
I was happy to see them, because it meant I'd be able to dump the last of the candy--less for the kids who just showed up, more for the kids who had made at least some effort to dress up, even if it was just a quick insta-costume.
Now, ten years ago, the insta-costume for teenaged girls was to put a couple of flocks of baby butterfly clips in their hair and smear on a lot of body glitter.
Can it be 2000 again already?
If you can stand to spend the 1:30, watch this video as one of the co-founders of Urban Decay applies sparkly highlighter all over a young woman whose smooth, perfect skin makes her look like a Bratz Doll, albeit slightly more animated.
Ladies, I know you're not even tempted. Just use this video as an object lesson, and continue to say no to glitter.
I swear, if I wake up screaming in the night, it'll be because I had a nightmare about being caught in public with glitter down the middle of my nose. And on my neck. And sternum.
Urban Decay, you have a lot to answer for. I mean, come on--weren't you just selling all that glittery makeup, like eight years ago? Like I'm going to fall for that played out shiznit.
Lucky for you, your pencil eyeliners are the bomb-diggity.