Perfume that smells like water
Manufacturers that market a cheaper way of doing things as fashion
I spent how long learning to sew a hidden zipper, and then you try to sell me this?
Makeup that doesn't allow the natural texture of your skin to show
Eyebrows that don't look like they're made of hair
People walking around in broad daylight wearing false eyelashes. When I first encountered this look on Glee, I was like "it's a TV show!" and "they're cheerleaders!" But women are doing this. And they are making me feel feeble and stumpy.
At least, my lashes feel that way.
Bare legs on everyone, all the time, regardless of age or weather
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| In case you think I'm an ageist meanie, these are actually Heidi Klum's legs for a costume party. |
Snow is God's way of telling you to cover up.
Also, platforms. See above. Can we stop?
Amen.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great and hilarious post. I do still like the Valentino Rock Studs, I just can't help it, but I agree with you on the perfume. I think dress manufacturers that won't put sleeves on dresses need to be called out too, the goddamned chickens. Learn how to make a sleeve! I love reading how Chanel would rip sleeves out of garments and tell the dressmakers to start over. Whee! She knew her sleeves. I do love a big lash line at night but only use falsies on the outer corners of my eyes (a trick I learned from Marilyn Monroe). I am beyond sick of everyone thinking we all need to see the legs/cleavage/bare arms that need to be covered, in every season, for every occasion. Lady newscasters and Michelle Obama are the worst offenders of the sleeveless thing. We get it, you have nice arms. Now put some sleeves on--if you can find a designer who still knows how to make actual sleeves! x
ReplyDeleteThanks! I actually shouldn't have illustrated my point with the Valentino version, because they're incredibly refined. I'd actually wear those shoes in a heartbeat, particularly the beige/pastel shades, because I like the balance of feminine and tough. I talk myself out of this particular splurge because I don't need them, and I really have to love the original to buy it once the market is flooded with knock-offs. Also, ankle straps kind of drive me crazy.
DeleteSo yeah, mostly it's the Valentino knock-offs that get to me. Or the outfits with studded everything--boots, bag, moto jacket. What are they--biker gang ladies who lunch? I'm puzzled.
And YES and AMEN to the sleeveless dresses. Setting in sleeves is hard, but honestly, in the bridge lines I shop for, I don't think it's too much to ask.
So with you on the bare legs, platforms, eyebrows and zippers! Every time I see one of those zippers I wonder why anyone thinks I would buy it?
ReplyDeleteI actually bought two Lafayette 148 dresses with visible zippers up the back because they had two things I adore: sleeves and set-in pockets. I compromised over the visible zippers. But every time I wear one of those dresses, I feel that I'm compromising myself.
DeleteI agree greatly with the bare legs - especially in winter!Huh?
ReplyDeleteOver those mean eyebrows and I have to say ... Tattoos - especially on the older women!
Eeek!
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