Friday, March 11, 2016

50 Shades of Green ... Nail Polish

I'm posting today—in addition to exposing my idiocy to the internet, which is apparently one of my great pleasures in life—to address a comment on yesterday's post. A reader named bdaiss (whom I think of as "BadAss") wondered where all the green nail polish had gone.

The obvious answer is: I bought it all. But that's not really true. I only bought eleven bottles.
Just yesterday I was claiming that I didn't own that much green nail polish. Apparently I'm in an advanced state of denial. Because this is my stash.

Top: Chanel Fraîcheur; Revlon Parfumerie Wintermint; Dior Waterlily; Revlon Parfumerie Lime Basil

Middle: Estee Lauder Viper; Chanel Alchimie; Rescue Beauty Lounge Recycle

OK, it's not 50. But it's eleven. Yes, you may mock--I'll wait.

But while I sink gently into my shame spiral, be pleased to examine my helpful captioning. I broke things into categories. Polishes that are no longer available anywhere aren't linked. They were limited edition and have been pulled from stores. Limited edition polishes available at third-party sellers are linked in italics.

My first point is that once more, I see a bright future in sales of my weird, ancient hoard collectible and much-sought-after cosmetics. I bet I could get bank for some of these shades. 

My second point is this: why in the hell can't I get a bottle of truly GREEN green nail polish? The polishes listed above might as well be named Too Minty, Too Olive, Too Dark, and Too Frosty. The only bottle in a true emerald green, suitable for St. Paddy's Day, begorra, is Fresh Frog of Bel Air. And it's only emerald green because it's glitter. Glitter doesn't count, she said as she stamped her foot in frustration.

Basically, if you want green nail polish, you're stuck with Revlon mint greens. And I've spotted some very teal-green polishes at Sally Hansen. What's up with that? Has Kelly Green been found to be carcinogenic, like Red Dye Number 2?

 If only I could time travel, I'd ask Sally Bowles where she got hers.

Then I'd pick up a few bags of M&Ms and enjoy the hell out of the red ones.


  1. Hoarder! (But seriously, the only reason I don't have a million bottles of nail polish is because I am terrible at doing my nails so just don't. I pay people.)

    1. In my defense, I bought a few of those because they're supposedly dupes for Chanel Jade, which is one of those OMG I MUST HAVE IT shades that sells on eBay for $400/bottle. Then Chanel released a new light green, Fraîcheur, their own dupe of Jade, so of course I bought that. And now I have a thirty year supply of light green polish. I should get the hell off the internet and go apply some to amortize my supply.

  2. I just bought a bottle of Essie Naughty Nautical, described as a shimmering, brilliant marine blue-green. IRL, it looks like a med teal green. I love it and will be wearing it for St. Patrick's Day.

    1. That sounds gorgeous! I love teal nails. Essie makes some of the best colors, but I won't buy them because their teensy brush frustrates me.

      It occurs to me that a Sally Beauty would be able to help me out. I know OPI has a couple of green shades, but the display in my Ulta has the lights behind the bottles, and it's really hard to see the shades. I'd be able to see them at Sally's. Also Sally's sells FingerPaints and Sinful Colors, they always have crazy shades.

  3. Is Kelly Green the shade you are after? Hate to tell you this but I am going to start looking for you now. In Brooklyn. Why again is it bad to own 11 shades of green? I approve! I only have three--one by Chanel (Peridot), one by Revlon (Elusive, heavy on the glitter) and one by Butter London (Two-Fingered Salute, very sage-y, with pink undertones). I wish I would've bought that Tom Ford polish before it sold out, Black Jade, but when polish hits the $35 mark (and up), I have to think about it. While I was thinking it sold out. Oh well, I put that money in my jewelry fund. Ha. x

    1. Hi Jill--yes, I don't think it's the outside of enough for these nail polish companies to come out with a true top-of-the-morning-to-you shamrock green. They're constantly pushing neon shades, so why not emerald green?

      I know what you mean about setting a price limit on something like nail polish. Mine is $27, and with all the bottles I've accumulated, for $27 it had better be pretty damned special. Because how am I going to end up with a Van Cleef and Arpel multi-strand necklace if I keep squandering my money on nail polish?

  4. Okay. You made me go pull out my stash. At one time, I had over 20. I know because I had to send my mom a list so she'd stop buying me shades I already owned. Now I am down to 13. (Beat ya!) Although a few of those just need to be pitched as they are either too old to be of any use or a worthless color.

    Of note: I am CHEAP when it comes to nail polish. Target is my typical polish buying place of choice. Mostly because I am fickle, changing it up often, and the cheap stuff comes off easy. Plus I'd rather spend my money on Dooney & Burke bags than nail polish.

    Oh, OPI Muppets line. I LOVED that Fresh Frog of Bel Aire. So much so that it's loooong gone.

    Here are mine along with their status:
    1. Sally Hansen Insta-dri Lickety Split Lime (no longer made, but you can get it at Amamzon. FOR $0.54. This is exactly the shade my Great Aunt was famous for.)
    2. Sally Hansen Insta-dri In Record Lime (no longer made - Make Up Alley has it. A GREAT kelly green. Mine longer worth applying but I can't bear to part with it.)
    3. Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Emerald City (my absolute #1 favorite color. Darker, metallic. I had 4 bottles at one point. I'm on my last one. No. Longer. Made.)
    4. Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Ivy League (lighter green metallic; no longer made, but still around on Amazon)
    5. Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Mint Sorbet (used to be a very minty green. Now appears to be reformulated into a bluish green. Available on Amazon, but not listed on Sally's own site.)
    6. Sally Hansen Smooth Perfect Sea (While it looks wedding-mint-green in the bottle, it goes on almost white and dries a bluish white. Ick. Imagine that, you can still get this one.)
    7. Revlon Color Stay Rain Forest (Love this one too. A deep forest green with sparkle (not a heavy glitter) You can find it on Amazon, but no longer made.)
    8. Nicole Mer-maid for Each Other (fun opalescent blue/green. Tends to look more blue, particularly under fluorescent light. This was a Target line I believe. It's still around online, but not in stores that I can tell.)
    9. Nicole Fell from the Tree (another favorite, metallic kelly green. Not made and not found anywhere online either.)
    10. Sinful Colors Happy Ending (Very frosty green. Doesn't get worn much at all. Looks like you can still get it at Amazon, but no longer made.)
    11. Icing Uncommited (another shimmer green, although a bit darker. I don't like the brush, so again don't wear it as much. No longer made and not finding it online either.)
    12. NYC Big Money Frost (This one goes on super thin and I'm typically too lazy to do 3 coats so it doesn't get used much. Another metallic/shimmer green. No longer made, but still on Amazon)
    13. Maybelline Express Finish (this. is. ick. Don't like the way it goes on. Plus it's much to limey and frosty. But you can still get it at Amazon!)

    We need to get some big shot to wear a great green polish and turn the tide...

    (And I like to pretend I'm a BadAss, and probably could have been considered such back in my college era hockey days. But I'm way more Debbie from Bowling for Soup's 1985 at this point.)


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.