Thursday, March 10, 2016

What I bought today, or, Be Prepared!

Today I got my second keratin treatment. I had it done last October, and was thrilled with the results. I remembered the after-treatment instructions: no shampooing for three days; don't pull it back or do anything that will put dents in it; if you work out or get it damp, blow it dry and flat iron it straight.

Last fall I preserved my keratin treatment by avoiding the gym for four days. I didn't do anything more strenuous than a gentle stroll to the mailbox. But I'm going to the gym tomorrow, and I can never tell how fucking insane rigorous my trainer is going to be. Chances are I'll need to mop up a bit of sweat.

I suddenly realized I didn't own a flat-iron. How can I have made it this far into the 2000s without one? I know I'm retrograde, but really, what's next? Will I cop to not owning a single thong?*

So anyway, I ran off to Ulta to buy a flat-iron. I picked this model based on plate size. I didn't want the smallest size, because I don't see myself merely straightening a few wisps. And of course, I wasn't going to go mental and get a super-awesome semi-professional model.

Conair InfinitiPro 1 3/4 in. rainbow titanium-coated flat iron

I was damned if I was going to spend over $50 on the stupid thing. I hope it's OK.

They were having a Buy Two Get One Free deal on L'Oreal products, so I also bought three mascaras.

L'Oreal Telescopic mascara
I'm not insanely in love with this mascara, but it's time to switch out the ones I've been using. And three mascaras is surprisingly not all that excessive. I need one for my vanity at home; one for my purse; one in the emergency makeup kit I keep in my gym bag.

Actually, I should probably buy more. I should probably have one for each car. And one for each suitcase. How the hell do I keep ending up being somewhere without my makeup? I'm a beauty blogger, for heaven's sake. I should be carrying the full Kardashian on my person at all times.

I blame my predilection for changing purses. I'm constantly re-packing my stuff into a different bag, and I keep trying to Pare Things Down. But all I do is show up somewhere and realize I don't have my checkbook or my wallet or my license. OR MY MAKEUP.

I should just go all Olson twin and carry a purse the size of a Hefty trash bag.

You could fit a hell of a lot of makeup in that.

Finally, there's this.

Revlon nail enamel in Wild, image courtesy of

I had no business buying it. I have so much nail polish, you'd think I was a nail blogger. And I'm not exaggerating. I'd post photographs of my drawer full of Chanel polishes, but I have too much self-respect.

Wait a minute. That's not really true. I mean, if I had self-respect, I wouldn't head straight to the internet any time I wanted to embarrass myself. But there's no point in admitting this sort of thing if you're not going to back it up with cold, hard facts. OK, internet. I'll go count them.

* * * * *

I'm back. I got as high as 84 before I decided that there was no need for me to be that accurate when documenting my hoarding. 

ANYWAY. I don't have that many bottles of green polish. And St. Patrick's Day is coming. And it would never do to let the leprechauns sneak up on me. Constant vigilance, people.

* Yes.


  1. How could you not have a flat iron?! I have two inches of hair and I have one.
    I am absolutely eating these posts up WITH A SPOON.


    1. I did have a kind of crappy hot pink one at one point. I believe it was purloined by the youngest female Buxom.

  2. Even *I* who is notoriously lazy when it comes to my hair have a flat iron! (Well, I actually have one of those combo curling/flat iron jobs. It's...not the greatest. But makes packing easier when I'm traveling.)

    What I want to know is: WHERE HAS ALL THE GREEN POLISH GONE?!? I have a tradition. My toes are always painted green. It's something my favorite great aunt always did (both fingers, and toes, electric lime green) and she would always treat me to a little mani/pedi session when we were together. SO. I used to have 20 different green polishes. Not kidding. Today? I have 3. I went to Target last night specifically to hunt out a green polish figuring St. Paddy's, for sure they'll have some. And nope. Everything is of a blue tinge (usually called Jade. That is not jade). I may have to hit Ulta this weekend. I like the opalescence of Wild up there.

    (Note: instead of green I bought myself a bottle of Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Wine Stock and my daughter a bottle for her Easter basket in Hunger Flames (a metallic neon purple).)

    1. Thank you! You have given me the idea for a new blog post: ou sont les green nailpolishes d'antan?


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