Well, why not? Let's investigate. The following is a list of the trends, illustrated with pictures of the items Elle recommends, and enriched with my thoughts about them.
Because a velvet bikini reminds me of this
only slightly less fuzzy. Velvet, leather, fur? Just sells us a paper bikini and get it over with.
David Bowie Platform Boots
Because buying and wearing these monstrosities will not bring him back to life.
Patent trench coats
Are we OK with patent trench coats?
|Our BFF Katy Perry|
If you put the shiny, water-resistant coat on top of the spandex cupcakes dress, you would create a wipes-clean-with-a-damp-cloth situation that would be beyond belief, and completely avoid the tragic MacArthur Park scenario we've heard so much about. No cakes would be left out in the rain.
Schoolgirl pinafores (what Americans call "jumpers")
Because we're grown-ups?
Why not hoodies? Hello?
We already are.
Statement chokers (NOT those bitty beaded ones from the 90s)
Because Downton Abbey is off the air?
Oh come on.
|Patagonia down jacket|
What the hell? Do Elle's reporters email their articles from Aix-en-Provence? Have they not experienced winter in Manhattan?
Earth to Elle: Already wearing them. Have been for years.
Just watch. Next, Elle will tell us about this kicky new style the cool kids refer to as "underwear."