A tale of two fruits

As you've probably heard, the spring sale started at Sephora today.

Sephora the first day of the spring sale

Here are the details: for VIB Rouge, the sale starts today; it's 15 percent off for them with coupon code ROUGENOTE. On Friday, Sephora will offer the lowly VIB likes of me 15 percent off with coupon code VIBNOTE. On Saturday, the even lowlier Beauty Insiders will have to settle for a mere 10 percent off whatever is left, using coupon code BINOTE. To really make Beauty Insiders feel like peasants, Sephora is only allowing them their discount until April 12th. The rest of us get until the 13th.

That will teach those serfs to spend more money at Sephora!!1!!!

The marketing is genius.

I went over to the website to see what's up. Mind you, 15 percent off is not going to tempt me much, because the sales tax in Chicago is slightly over 10 percent. I know it's illogical, but a sale has to be 20 percent or better for me to really sit up and take notice. But with Ebates at 4 percent ... could a little browsing hurt?

I discovered a few things. First of all, the much-ballyhooed Too Faced Peach Palette is in stock, at least, it looks that way.

 Whoops, it's out of stock again.

Peasants rioting over Too Faced Peach Palettes

Damn, that thing is like the weather—but it'll be back in stock.  We lowly non-Rouge members needn't smash windows.

And anyway, I'm still not tempted. I've heard descriptions of the fragrance, and I can't imagine enjoying having to deal with the scent of peach gummy candy while I'm applying my makeup.

And if we're going for full-on cutesie, I might as well get my peach eyeshadow fix less expensively by heading to kollectionk.com and buying something age-appropriate like this:

I mean, those are some peach shadows. One might even call them orange.

On top of which, this Line Friends Sally Orange palette costs less than the Too Faced Sweet Peach. Which would leave me with extra money to buy myself some slimming body patches.

So sorry, Sephora. Until you can sell me some hippo stomach patches, I think I'll just save my money.

I mean, come on. "Bye Bye to Excess Fat." And only $5.18? TAKE MY MONEY.