Saturday, February 18, 2023

How do I hate these jeans? Let me count the ways.

I realize that I'm not Anthropologie’s demographic. I never was, even back when they used to send me massive catalogues filled with pictures of young women modeling boho clothes while lounging on a sofa upholstered in antique Breton quilts or some shit. 

But what is wrong with these jeans? Let’s see:




 

1. Cropped. And flared. CROPPED AND FLARED.

This is no way to talk us out of our skinny jeans. I mean, the shoe problem alone leaves me baffled. None of my usual choices would work. Obviously I’d need to shop for a pair of cream-colored pointy-toed mules at Aladdin’s Cave of Wonders, Inc. 






2. No front pockets. 

Not even one of those vestigial watch pockets you still find on Levi’s.




3. Do I spot a puckered seam on that back pocket? 

How did that make it through the shoot/editing/uploading process? 




4. Unfortunately, in real life it is impossible to photoshop my belly. 

Believe me, I've tried.


5. These are pull-on pants, which means that's a decorative fly.

Which means these are cropped, flared, pocket-challenged jeggings

Thank you, next. 

3 comments:

  1. I saw the picture and thought “oh no I hate these”. Glad to know I’m not alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m sure there are many more of us! But Blogger’s comment software is almost as ill thought out as those jeans, so we may never find out. <3, Poppy

      Delete
  2. Following up with a second reply because I finally figured out that if I use Firefox and log in with Google, I can actually comment under my own name.

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I have turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.