The voices in my head won't stop squabbling

I've mentioned my penchant for diving into diet literature when I head into yet another "shit's getting real" fitness phase--which, following my most recent trip to the doctor, I'm in. 

Adhering to the sound advice of my favorite diet philosopher, Richard A. Watkins, I obtain and read whatever diet literature I can get my hands on. It doesn't really matter if the advice contradicts itself; very well, let it. Like Walt Whitman, diet books are large, and contain multitudes. 

(Sorry! The above represents yet another attempt to prove that my expensive degrees in English Literature were worth the money.)

Since we last gathered around the virtual campfire that is this blog to listen to me tell stories about being fucking fat and wanting to do something about it, technology has moved on. Of course it has.

[Sidenote: my trainer told me that she parked her six year old son in front of a laptop at her gym so that he could watch YouTube videos while she took care of some business. She came back to find him pushing helplessly at the monitor and claiming that the desktop was broken. And she realized that he didn't know how to use a mouse. Imagine how old that made us feel.]

Anyway. 

I've had an Audible.com subscription for ages, and not too long ago they added a feature where you can listen/download a whole bunch of titles for free. 

Well, as you can no doubt imagine, the quality of the offerings is all over the place. 

I'm sure the overlords at Audible (a subsidiary of Amazon.com, if you didn't know) have figured out a way to CAPITALISM this new benefit of membership into untold wealth, because that's what they do. 

Meanwhile, I'm downloading and listening to every single diet/health/longevity title they're offering, no matter how crappy, so pardon me while I try to organize my so-called thoughts, because Nina Teicholz, author of The Big Fat Surprise

is telling me that my protein smoothie contains too much fruit sugar

while Mark Hyman, M.D., author of Young Forever

is assuring me that the phytonutrients in the blueberries and the whey protein are going to make me live forever.

The cacophony is unbearable!

Be quiet, you two. MOMMY IS BLOGGING. 

Recommendations: these are my latest

Reads 

I have more than one book going at any given time, the choice of what to read depending on whether I'm on the elliptical, driving, or sitting on a chaise longue dipping languidly into a box of French chocolates.

Serving suggestion.

Oh, and I've already talked about these. Definitely in the chaise longue class.

my latest e-book

Don't worry; I'm not taking it seriously. It's mostly a giggle.

See?

my latest audiobook

If you like, you can listen to a sample.

my latest book to page idly through while sitting on a chaise longue

Hmm. Maybe this clashes with the chocolates.

TV fashion role models

Lucy Liu as Joan Watson in Elementary

Emily Bett Rickards as Felicity Smoak in Arrow

Kidding. I've never actually watched Downton Abbey.

Want to stalk Joan's wardrobe? Or maybe Cookie's from Empire? Have you discovered Worn On TV?

Instagram follows

h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y    Lots of gay men in my feed. This is mostly lesbians, because equal time, yo.

hostessofthehumblebungalow   You've read the blog, but have you gazed at her pictures?

YouTube subscriptions

KimberlyClark

My favorite drag queen beauty guru. OK, my only DQBG. I've already raved about her, but she is really smart about gender and consumerism and other things more vacuous beauty gurus don't talk about.

Last night, I heard her use the word "acumen." True story.

And Kimberly turned me on to

notyourtypicaldollface

So smart. So pretty. I am in awe of her cats' eye glasses.

Movies

The Assassin, 2015. This will be Sunday afternoon at Doc Films in Chicago. Want to come?

Please tell me you've already seen Brooklyn.

Podcasts

Before anyone gets too excited at the sheer amounts of trendiness in this post, I should confess that I listen to podcasts to help me fall asleep.  

The Snailcast (a podcast about Korean skin care by four talented K-beauty bloggers.)

Vital Social Issues and Stuff My friend Jasmine and her friend Joy keep me up-to-date. For example, their 2015 wrap-up. Who remembered all those scandals from way back in March? So helpful.

 

Shoes

These J. Crew Factory d'Orsay flats are actually comfortable and not too pointy.

Also, no tacky toe cleavage! #winning