Saturday, July 22, 2006

If you can read this, you have something better to do.

I found an on-line test that's supposed to show whether I spend too much time on-line. See, right away this test has to be totally stupid, because I already know I do.

This site had tests for various flavors of on-line addiction: gambling, eBay, cybersex, and cyberporn, but I went for general, overall on-line addiction, because let's face it, between the hours I spend playing on-line poker, the vast sums I spend on eBay, the countless times I have uploaded nude photographs to "Am I Hot or Not" and then sat watching the results come in in real time, not to mention the times I have joined an "Older Men R Hot" virtual hot tub over on Yahoo chat and pretended to be a nineteen-year-old just to mess with the heads of a bunch of drooling old perverts--well, my point is that my internet addiction is multifarious.

And anyway, does anyone else out there agree that maybe, just maybe, the owners of the website in question ( aren't the most original thinkers? And/or are completely stupid? I mean ... on-line help for on-line addiction? Does Alcoholics Anonymous hold meetings in a bar?

Anyway, I took the test, and I scored "normal." So right away, you know the test is useless.

But for a good laugh, and in case you haven't wasted enough time on line, you can take the test by clicking here.

Oh, and my favorite question is this one:

3. How often do you prefer the excitement of the Internet to intimacy with your partner?

I mean, OK, if the question means "How often do you prefer the witty repartee of your blogging buddies to a meaningful 'discussion' with your husband about whose turn it is to take out the recycling?" ... well, maybe that's OK.

But if that means what I think it means, ew.


  1. I got a 29.

    "You are an average on-line user. You may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but you have control over your usage."

    But I assure you it is probably only because I enjoy food more than the internet. So far.

  2. Good grief, a quick glance at the questions and I knew I'd score a 5 on each one.

    RW, true internet addicts do most of their eating at the computer.

    We know our typos are usually the result of Cheetos crumbs and sticky Snickers bits imbedded in our keyboards.

  3. i don't consider the excitement as a factor to keep up on webdate_dot_com. it's the urge that i have for hot men. i'm single so i can't compare the feeling when i chat.


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xxx, Poppy.