Monday, November 12, 2007

NaBloPoMo 12: Gobbledegook--it's what's for breakfast!

Apparently it's just not enough that I have two kids with special needs that require non-stop IEP meetings to discuss their RX of AS and determine whether the alphabet soup that is my children is brought to you by the letters ADD, OCD, and LMNOP.

No, now that I'm the helpless pawn of the fitness industry, I have a whole bunch of new Alpha-Bits to master.

Unfortunately, I haven't mastered them yet.

Last June I had a RMR Resting Metabolic Rate test. Today I had a second one. There is good news and bad. The good?

I've lost 18 pounds, or just under 10 percent of my body weight.

I've gotten better at burning fat. There are five fitness heart rate zones, and the further up the ladder you can get, the more efficiently you're burning fat. When I started, my best fat burning was happening at 108 beats a minute, which is no more than a moderate walking pace. Now it's occurring when I'm in Zone 2, when my heart rate is between 108 and 124 beats a minute. This means I have a higher degree of cardio fitness, and my body has become a better fat burning machine.

This is the bad news:

My Resting Metabolic Rate has plummeted from 1500 to 1038 calories a day.

I'm going to have to push myself and work out harder. Much harder. Like spending half an hour a day making sure my heart beats between 140 and 155 beats per minute. (Is it OK with everyone if I do this by watching scary movies?)

The kidding around is pretty much over. I really need to lift weights.

And the worst news is:

I don't really understand this stuff.

I glaze over like a doughnut when it's explained to me.


  1. Now, why did you have to go and mention doughnuts? You're mean.

    I don't understand it either. Just exercise more frequently and eat less, is what I say.

  2. Ack. KEEP IT UP!
    Better, Faster, Stronger, Thinner!

    You ARE BIONIC. (With nice handbags.)

  3. I forgot to mention that I didn't know I wasn't supposed to be on the elliptical machine before my Resting Metabolic Rate test (RMR) because 1. no one told me and 2. I don't have enough common sense to realize it for myself.

    So these test results that I don't understand are probably way off, anyway. If it weren't NahBlahBlahMeh, I wouldn't mention it.

  4. No matter what, you've already done great things and are getting healthier and more fit. Yay you!

  5. I never even heard of a RMR. Do you think people just make this shit up to confuse us and layer on yet another impossible level of perfection to achieve? Bottom line, 2 things matter: a) How do YOU feel? b) How do your favorite pants fit?
    (and c) cholesterol, care about that if you must.)

  6. Melissa:

    I feel so much better it's not funny.

    And one good thing about these confusing tests is the bar graphs. Seeing the lines go up is heartening even if I don't understand what it all means.

    And my cholesterol and blood pressure are fine. I'm mostly worried about the size and texture of my ass. Which is a good thing. Um, not my ass. The fact that I have no major health problems.

  7. Hi Poppy! Long time reader, first time commenter...I have learned a lot about the whole fitness crap over the last 2 thing that I have found to be a tremendous help ( I hope I spelled that right...otherwise, I am just an ass...)is you put the www in front. But it is a great site that helps you to keep a log of everything that you are eating...if you enter your daily activity, you can see how much you take much you burn...and how much parks itself on your ass. There are a ton of sites out there that you can get good info from. I also use a site (again with the www) this shows you the calories and fat for most fast food restaurants.
    A good way to look at things is to figure out how many calories you need to maintain your current can google this...then figure out how much you want to lose...figure that you have to burn 3500 calories to lose a lb...and figure out where that 3500 calories is going to come from. If you break it down to simple (HA) can at least try to get your head around it. Or not!
    I hope I haven't bored you to death...but feel free to email me...I would love to help you...I am not a trainer...I don't play one on TV...I have just lost a ton of weight...
    Losing weight sucks. But you can do it!!

  8. i started lifting weights - nothing serious, just little weights to start - when i was training for the triathlon, to keep my knees and hips in order. And I hated it. But the nice thing about weights is that you see results so damn quickly, and it gets kind of addictive. So don't dread it, it'll be ok. and think of your lovely biceps!


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.