Saturday, March 08, 2008

Just like blackbird, I like to force the internet to go shopping with me.

Unlike blackbird, I'm too lazy to go out looking for a new kitchen table in real life, because that would involve actually getting off my ass and going to a furniture store. In fact, several furniture stores.

And I can't even begin to describe how unattractive a prospect that appears to be on a cold (what else is new) snowy (what, again?) Saturday afternoon.

And so, I reach for my friend, the internet.

Here's the situation. What I have now: the kitchen table that came with the house. It's a white formica rectangle measuring 54 inches by 40 inches, or four and a half feet by 3 and a half feet. This size is perfect for our little family dinners a quatre, doing homework (sometimes both kids at once) and reading the newspaper while I breakfast in solitary splendor.

This table also fits the somewhat narrow and radiator-bedecked end of my kitchen. Which used to look like this

Kitchen, before

and now looks more like this

Except with the plastic wrap off and the same old furniture back in place.

Here's a close-up of what I'm dealing with now.
As you can see, one end of the table is under the window and provides a handy spot for stashing salt and pepper shakers, Japanese seaweed sprinkles for my rice, a poinsettia that refuses to die even though it's almost Easter, and napkins.

What I have in mind is a new table, wooden, roughly the same size, pedestal based (because the radiators pretty much preclude a four-legged table) with a distressed black finish. Black will go with the antique wrought iron chandelier, dark granite counters, and my newer and slightly less Victoria-magazine-influenced aesthetic. (Meaning it doesn't have to be pretty. Or cute. Or retro.)

Black wood would also keep me from spending half my life Windex-ing tea stains off white formica. Because in case anyone asks, the question: "Why did you never finish your doctoral dissertation?" could just as easily be answered by the phrase "I was too busy trying to keep my white kitchen table clean."1

OK! Ready to help me buy a table? Great. Shall we sort by price? Very well.

This one is from Caroline Cottage. I found it on Amazon.

It sells for $199. Unfortunately, the ratings for this company are pretty bad. Apparently a few people got the base without the top, or the top showed up broken. And it's too small--only 42 inches around.

Still .. $199! At that price my daughter could fingerpaint her food with ketchup, instead of merely eking it out in a miserly fashion, a teaspoon here, a teaspoon there.

This one is only $200 from Amazon. But again, it's only 42 inches around.

I like the chunkier base. It seems less tippable. But forget it! It's too small.

This one

is 48 inches around, costs $799, includes the chairs, and has free shipping. Unfortunately I hate the combination of black and brown and those chair seats? Would be covered with ketchup within seconds.

Of course I can't remember where this one came from. Or how much it cost.

And of course, I kind of like it. These chair seats wouldn't get trashed, and I like the base on this one the best. There is no way my kids would manage to tip it over.

I'll have to look around and find it again.

This design is available from a few different retailers, and the price ranges from $1200 to $1359. The chair they're showing isn't the only choice, which is a good thing, because it's trying very hard to look hip.

This is the other chair.

Which I hate less than the hip one.

I hate this set

And only partly because it's designed by Kathy Ireland and costs $1,069.00. Didn't she used to do Sports Illustrated bathing suit issue covers?

It'll be a cold day in hell when a pair of breast implants designs my kitchen table.

1 Actually, it was indolence that did me in. That and the knowledge that I didn't, in fact, want to teach college students. Or try to get tenure.


  1. There's this one.

    Available in 45" & 60" dia. $699-$799.

    Just a thought.

  2. Well Joke beat me to it. I was going to suggest Potterybarn.

  3. We designed our own through Dinec.
    You can put any top/base/leg combination together to get what you want. Also, the top is pretty much indestructible, liquid-wise (it will dent and scratch). We got leather upholstery, and it still looks new. After 4 years with young boys.
    Only negative is the time it took to get it - 11 weeks after ordering.
    Oh yeah, and the price.

  4. OK - I love the one which you can't remember where you saw it with that Savannah chair - and the leather on the Savannah would be comfy, easy to clean and look lovely as it got worn in and loved.

    I like the one Joke suggested but those cushions? with ties? would SHIT.ME.TO.TEARS.

    In case you were wondering.

  5. Plus, the legs on the Savannah kinda match the pedestal of the table.

    Something I would call fortuitous

  6. Kim - I have the set Joke suggested.
    WITH THE CUSHIONS and ties.
    But my children are all grown up.(She said swigging more scotch.)

    But enough about me!
    When did you lose the idea of the rectangular table? Is there enough room in that end of the kitchen to comfortably move around a round table?
    Where will you put the salt?
    FYI: the paint on painted PB furniture rubs off very easily.

    I suggest you go to and look at the Della dining table in 'blackbird.'
    I shit you not.
    Beautifully made.
    There are plenty of other things for you to see there too...

  7. Note to joke, kim & blackbird and even Poppy - I too have those Pottery Barn chairs. And cushions, except mine are the red version. Good lord, does EVERYBODY have them? Yipe!

    Pops, I agree with blacbird that you might want to stick with a rectangular table. Did you see's Inga table in blackbird?

  8. BTW, not only do the tables come in Blackbird, they come in Poppy. But no Lemony. What's up with that?!

  9. Am sitting here wondering how women I love and adore can own furniture that has cushions. With TIES??? My neck is itching at the thought of those cushions moving, falling off, being dragged by children climbing up and down from them, how I'd never be able to let my kids eat anything with any form of sauce on it ever again, how the ties would break off in days and you know, having to sew them back on? GET REAL....

    OH POPPY, what have you unleashed.

  10. OH I'm loving that Maine Cottage place.


  11. I share Blackbird's concern that a round table might not fit in the space properly since you won't be able to butt it up against the wall like the other one.

    You should probably fly us in for an in-person evaluation.


Gentle Readers:

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xxx, Poppy.