Sunday, May 04, 2008

I can has silence?

You guys, it is so lucky that the Genius at the Genius Bar actually did give me a new iPod yesterday. (Excuse me for a second while I go lick it ... oooh, yummy.)

Because today has been one of those days. One of those days where the moderately charming and mildly amusing Poppy has been forced to deal with the conversational output of other human beings for hours and hours. And hours.

This is because I:

a. stupidly volunteered to pick up a fellow chorister who lives two towns south of me, meaning that I had a car full of company on the drive to church;*

b. dealt with warm-up, church service, and rehearsal, none of which is silent;**

c. ended up driving the first chorister and an additional one back north;***

d. arrived home at 4:00 to have my husband ask whether I wanted to help him take a few large items to rummage sale drop-off;****

e. having finished that enjoyable activity, had my daughter walk in and say something like (and I might possibly be misquoting her) "Wanh, wanh, I can't find the sheet for my Independent Reading Project, so please comb through the house and find it, and then do my homework for me;"*****

f. upon having placed said daughter on a sofa to watch Little Women (the independent reading project is about Louisa May Alcott) walked into the kitchen to cook dinner only to find my husband having a noisy and protracted work-related phone call. So I put on [lick] my new iPod [/lick] to listen to an audiobook while I cooked dinner;******

g. and spent dinner listening to my now much more cheerful daughter chatter about various and sundry things and my son try to tell jokes. *******


If the phone rings, I'm going to flush myself down the toilet.********


* The first fatal error of the day. And it was only 8:30 a.m.! My, aren't I an early bird.
** At this point, becoming a Quaker looks pretty fucking good.
*** And one of them wanted to return some shoes to Marshall's, so I had to wait for them.
**** The answer was no, of course. But I did it anyway.
***** Don't worry; her helpless act not only did not gain her any substantial homework assistance, it also lost her her iPod and Nintendo DS.
****** The broccoli was undercooked and the chicken was tough. Serves him right.
******* Thank God there was wine.
******** Here's my living will, for those who care; if I flush myself, do not call a plumber.


  1. It's gotten that I hate some errands so much that I'll wear my iPod just so that I can pretend I'm at Sam's Club alone.

  2. I'm considering learning a foreign language so I can torture my family with it when they break into my reveries.

    'Mooom! I can't find my...

    'Gsythythidon? Tryskilanedosie.'

    *evil cackle*

  3. OK, I won't call a plumber, but I will come with helpers to secret you away to a quiet place somewhere that has only birds and bugs for neighbors, and in your little cabin there is a computer, but also a manual typer, and lots of great stuff to eat in the fridge.

    In other words I don't give a rip about yer plumbing but would hate it if a good blogger fell off the radar.


  4. I think you might have flushed yourself down my toilet recently. Sorry. I'm calling a plumber.

  5. Maybe you should tell your daughter to look up the word "independent."


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.