Monday, November 06, 2006

Bloggers! I have solved your problem. The eternal problem of Blogging Content, and Where to Get It.

It's easy. Look to the left of your laptop. (This leaves your dominant hand free to convey the all-important mug of caffeine towards your face.) And don't give me shitty little come-backs like "But Poppy! I'm left-handed!" Be brave, bold, and resolute, bloggers. Think outside the box. Switch the rights and lefts; we'll wait.

OK. What is to the left of my laptop? Halloween candy wrappers. And thus, today's entry is

Halloween Candy: The Review

1. 3 Musketeers in the wee little snackity-snack size. Verdict: tastes like someone melted a brown crayon and poured it over a stale marshmallow. Why bother? Which explains why there are only three wrappers there. It turns out they do not get better if you eat several of them.

2. Hershey's Dark Chocolate Kisses. These are the ones that come in purple metallic foil wrappers. Verdict: These are actually pretty good. The chocolate has a luscious series of overtones that is guaranteed to to send your tastebuds into pirouettes of delight. There are only two wrappers in the saucer, but there would be more, if I hadn't tried the 3 Musketeers first.

There are also two noticeable absences, or lacks.

3. Across the room, very far from the plate to the left of my laptop there is a container of little Fun-Sized baglets of Hershey's Kissables. Verdict: Don't bother. To the already overly-sweet taste and chalk-like texture of the Hershey's Kiss has been added a very hard, slick coating that smells like little guest soaps. Avoid.

4. DNA testing would reveal that there used to be a bowl of dark chocolate M&Ms on the sideboard. Verdict: These were excellent--the Garden of Eden of Halloween candy. Which is why they're gone.

What is the state of your Halloween candy? All gone? Nothing left but Circus Peanuts? You never had any? Discuss.

5 comments:

  1. I've dumped all the Halloween candy except for the 4 bags I bought and hid too well.

    Discussion:

    Worst: These "mini marshmallows" that my boy's teacher included in a goodie bag. I'm convinced they're tiny chunks of asbestos.

    Odd Discovery: "Fun Size" Snickers taste like sugar glop wrapped in cardboard. "Jumbo Size" Snickers rock.

    Best: Fun Size Butterfingers. They are satisfyingly crunchy and chewy. They're sweet as Hell and saltier than potato chips. The big plus: They have this almost overpowering tang, like they're loaded with ascorbic acid. All in all, they're so intense I could only eat a dozen or so in one sitting.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Circus peanuts ARE VERY DEAR TO ME -
    there's nothing else like them...
    shaped like peanuts, yet orange in color, and, somehow, banana flavored.

    A review of candy, by Youngest, at my site.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Look to the left of my WHAT now?

    Signed, Laptopless in TX

    ReplyDelete
  4. In order to avoid scarfing down Halloween candy like it was, well, candy, I bought this bag of Tootsie roll things. Big tootsie rolls, small tootsie rolls, tootsie pops and fruit-flavoured tootsie rolls. Guess what's left? The pops (because, ew) and the fruit-flavoured ones (because, again, ew). Once again, my plan to not eat the Halloween candy has failed miserably.

    And what? There are dark chocolate M&Ms? Are they good? Are they dark-chocolate-Kit-Kat good?

    ReplyDelete
  5. But Poppy! I'm left -- oh, sorry.

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.