Wednesday, August 15, 2007

You would never believe I'm on vacation

Because yes, I'm still in New Hampshire, but I have no pretty pictures for you. I'm too busy discovering the difference between renting and owning.

Renting means that if there are problems with the septic tank, they are someone else's. Owning means you are delighted to discover that you can actually buy Septic-Aid (or whatever it's called) on Amazon.com. I didn't really know much about septic tanks, and oh, Internet, I didn't want to. But now I've discovered that I can have it delivered in 24 hours--plenty of time for the millions and millions of bacteria to convert the contents of the septic tank into sweet-smelling yogurt, or whatever it is that these bacteria turn things into--before a bunch of guests arrive on Saturday.

See, I still don't know much about septic tanks, but I beleve someone has been flushing penicillin or some substance that septic tanks don't like, and now our toilets feel mournful and sluggish. And so I will be giving them the equivalent of a spoonful of Geritol, and you don't even know what that is, Internet, because you are too young.

I will never be as young as you are, Internet.

My sister's getting married on Saturday, did I forget to tell you? Well, it's right that this is coming as something of a surprise to you, Internet, because I just found out that I have to give some kind of luncheon on Saturday. Luckily for me a couple of local catering joints have what quaint elderly types like me call An On-Line Presence, so I can shop for caterers while I drink wine and try to decide whether I'm just imagining things about the toilet.

And now, to end on a more positive note, the Plat du Jour.

I took this picture while I was on my way to Sears to buy a new dryer, as the old one is acting even older than I am, and it's time to send it off to the Bide-A-Wee Rest Home for Discarded Appliances and install the hip young trophy dryer. Naturally, I was not in a good mood. Another time when I was feeling like a home owner, and not in a good way. But then! I saw this:

It's a Ford Cobra. And check out the plate!

I did really well not to rear end him while I was trying to get close enough to take the picture.

7 comments:

  1. You have probably talked to professionals so you probably know all this, but since I'm a bossy woman who happens to live sufficiently far from the city to have a septic tank in her very own back yard, I'm going to tell you anyway. Even with bacterial additives, the tanks need to be emptied once in a while -- how much depends on how ofte you're using the house, how many people, and how big the tank. When the system needs pumping -- i.e., it has overflowed the septic field, it will smell stinky outside.

    If it smells okay outside but the toilets are smelling weird, it may be the septic tank, or it may be a buildup of "iron slime" in the back of the tank, which seems to happen to us every now and again even though we have a water softener that takes out most of the excess iron. What works for us is to scrub every inch of the inside of the tank with The Works (septic safe) and to keep one of those goofy Lysol deodorizers clipped inside the bowl (also septic safe -- check the labels for the right ones). The latter doesn't just deodorize. For some reason, it seems to slow down the iron slime problem.

    Good luck!

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  2. Septic issues are shitty.
    Congratulations on the new dryer, if it's from Whirlpool just go ahead and return it now and save yourself some time. (Bastards.)

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  3. You make me so glad our crappers are on a municipal system that does not involve me putting anything in them than the obvious.

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  4. I now know way more about septic tanks than I ever wanted to know, yuck. And what Susie said? Ditto for Kenmore - Sears sucks.

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  5. That car rocks! What did the driver look like?
    DH and I made a pact many years ago to own no more than one property. We are the summer renters who have a good time and then walk away from the problems.

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  6. Sweet car. Great plate.

    My only experience with septic tanks are from when I was a kid and the grass grew really well and was very green over that sort of mushy patch in the yard. When my mother explained to me what the septic tank was, I put my fingers in my ears and refused to play in the front yard again. Nasty.

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  7. Trophy dryer - love it! I have a brand new (space age) washer and dryer (we recently moved into a house where the appliances were over 20 years old), and they scare me. They remind me of the computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    Septic tanks? Hmmm....I guess my toilet troubles could have been worse. Check out my "Favorite Posts" to see what we went through this past year.

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xxx, Poppy.