Tuesday, December 16, 2008

e. e. cummings' christmas list

Do you guys realize that Christmas is in 10 days? And that I have bought not even one single present? Except for an alt.fashion Secret Santa person? And even that was supposed to be mailed last week, but is sitting on the radiator in the dining room?

I could be hyperventilating over all the shit I have to do. So I'm listing it using lower case letters, as that way my list seems cute and non-threatening and not nearly so overwhelming.

Ready? What Poppy Has To Do In The Next Ten Days:
  1. buy shit
  2. wrap it
  3. send out the fugly Snapfish cards I ordered on December 12th. when they get here. which hasn't happened yet.
  4. get all the crap out of the house, because what's the use of arranging cute decorating tchotkes around if there's clutter all over the place?
  5. decide if I'm actually going to give presents to my family members--or should I use the tanking economy as an excuse to blow it off?
  6. if the answer is "yes," do something about that. like I don't already have enough to do, sheesh
  7. haul the tree up from the basement
  8. decorate it
  9. find the stockings. or are they in new hampshire? shit!
  10. buy more lights for the yard. Four measly strands, two way over on the south side of the house, one strand of icicle lights along one of the two windowboxes, and one pathetic strand wrapped about halfway up a tree by the front door? Isn't cutting it.
  11. do something about That Stud Muffin I Married's birthday, which is the 19th.
  12. really, really, REALLY get on the treadmill, because the Grey's Anatomy-on-DVD-watching/wine drinking habit I've developed has turned me into a
  13. lard
  14. ass
  15. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

  1. Please tell me you're exaggerating your procrastination for comic effect, because now I feel all stressed on your behalf.

    (Says the woman whose shopping is done, presents are wrapped, cards are mailed, and house is decorated. Hell, even my stocking stuffers are done. Well, except for that chocolate I ate in a stress-induced frenzy last week.)

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  2. I can only offer best wishes, but make no comparisons...I'm too afraid to look at my own list... Every time I even think about it, I start to hear the Jaws theme...

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  3. jen on the edge needs to be slapped. OR, she could come do your stuff for you.

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  4. I remember you shopping last minute last year--and you did okay, didn't you?

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  5. Oh my goodness! Wow - I feel your pain but according NBC4 this morning most Americans have completed 47% of their shopping this year. So you can cut people off or start heading to Tar-Jay for some quality gifts.

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  6. Who moi? Exaggerate for comic effect? Never!

    OK, sometimes I do, but sadly, in this case, I am not exaggerating at all.

    The beauty part is that the only people who really expect presents from me are my kids, and they are geeks who like videogames, so shopping is actually very easy.

    Dragging the tree up from the basement is hard, though. So it's still there.

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  7. Oh wow, that is lots to do still! I do not envy you. Have a few drinks and get busy!

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  8. I've got some gifts stuffed in a closet somewhere for some people, but I figure I've got PLENTY of time, so quit worrying. That Jen on the edge needs to settle down - I rather enjoy the heady rush I get trying to get ready for Christmas.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.