Anything to get the taste of so much WHOLESOME out of my mouth. Which tastes like the "Glucola" they make you drink when they screen you for diabetes.
Think I'm overreacting? Check it out:
Friday afternoon: Don obnoxious Girl Scout Leader uniform;
perform annual village cleanup with my Girl Scout troop.
Saturday morning: Go to church for son's Confirmation service.
Saturday night: Attend the annual school benefit.
Sunday morning: Church again, this time the usual service plus the annual thank-the-Sunday-school teachers plus more confirmation celebration, and an ice cream social.
Sunday afternoon: Don obnoxious Girl Scout Leader uniform;
pack American and troop flags in car; organize troop color guard; march in quaint village's 90th annual Memorial Day Parade.
Attend Memorial Day ceremony along with every other scout troop in village, also various ministers, members of the armed forces, and what looked like the village elders.
The first speaker mentioned the length of the historic Lincoln/Douglas debates. You know, the ones where Stephen A. Douglas spoke for an hour and a half and Abraham Lincoln
rebutted for an hour? Well, I swear, today's speaker took that long to describe the debates and reiterate a couple of Lincoln's points. Which, OK, by the time he got to them, my mind had wandered far, far away. So it's lucky I could read the Wikipedia article. You know, if I chose to.
And now you know why I want to channel Patti Smith and perform at CBGB. And then do Jell-O shots. And then snort methamphetamine. And then have a one-night stand. With a priest. Who's gay. And married.