Triple XXX rated Garden P0rn and other stories

OH

MY

GOD

you guys, I can't believe how dusty this blog has gotten or how busy I've been this week.

In the past five days, I've managed to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let my husband forget he's a man--wait a minute, he's been out of town all week. But I've kept the house reasonably picked up and the children reasonably well fed. I've attended rehearsals. I've dragged my son off to sing in an Evensong.

But on top of that, all these trucks have been lined up in front of my house all week long because the landscaping company I hired in the beginning of April finally decided to show up and start sticking new plants in my yard. And I don't mean two bushes on either side of the front door. I mean trees and shrubs and perennials and outdoor lighting and really stinky mulch.

Yes, in a doomed attempt to make my teardown look a bit less so, I've sunk large American dollars into the yard. That sucking sound you hear is the landscape company vacuuming the last penny out of my wallet.

And this means that in addition to the usual crap I have to do, I had to keep going outside and patiently explaining that I hated the plants they picked out. Because honestly, with all the forsythia out there (which I don't like that much but was there when we bought the house and was therefore free) the last thing I need is more shrubs that make yellow flowers in the spring.

And anyway, witch hazel is something I buy at CVS, not something I want growing in my yard.

Anyway, what with giving the landscaping company a piece of my mind clearly communicating my wishes, and doing the driveway minuet with three or four trucks whenever I had to drive anywhere, plus the aforementioned musical activities, I've been frazzled.

But stick around, because eventually I'll post some garden p0rn.

Oh, and I posted elsewhere twice this week, so if you want to find out whether Clairol Nice 'n Easy Root Touch Up is worth buying, and whether there is any humor to be found in Miss California USA's family dynamics, feel free to exit click right now.