Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Now is the month of Maying / when merry lads are playing / and ladies who lunch hold one damned lunch after another / Fa la la la

For a lot of people, May is a lovely month, but for me, May is the month when every non-profit, club, and board on the face of the earth holds its annual meeting.

Before I went to an annual meeting, I thought it would be a room full of guys in suits wondering what happened to this year's dividend. I pictured uprisings and gavels being banged and the kind of ruckus you see in those all-Springfield meetings they're always having on The Simpsons. That would have a certain charm.

Unfortunately, in my case, annual meetings are ladies' luncheons where everyone gets all dressed up, listens to boring reports, and eats too much fattening food.

And this week I had three ladies lunches on three successive days. THREE.

It's all an enormous strain. I'm a geek. I'd much rather be talking to the internet about eyeshadow. Instead, I'll be slipping on one of the three versions of this dress I scored at Old Navy and driving downtown to listen to rathah dull reports and eat too much.


(I got it in black, slate blue, and this Yummy Plummy color. Two were $25 and one was $12.95, can you believe it?)

But seriously, people, can you imagine serving lobster souffle and then having coconut cake for dessert? That's a week's worth of calories in a single meal.

Internet, I'd rather hang out with you. Granted, you end up costing me a lot of money (see above) but you're way less fattening, and anyway, I want to finish what I have to say about neutral eye makeup. I mean, let's face it; I'm one of the most interesting people I know. I like making the internet listen to me talk to myself. It's fun.

I also want to tell you about what I'm doing to get ready for my 30th college reunion. Yes, I said it. Thirty years.

I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone and try some new things in a last-ditch attempt to impress my classmates with how fabulous I look for my age. I bought a Murad Resurgance starter kit ($119) and started using it on May 1st.

Murad Resurgence 90 Day Kit

I also bought the new five-minute Crest Whitestrips. And some absolutely enormous vitamins.

But I don't know when I'm going to find the time to post, what with all these luncheons.

(I might actually make a video, instead.)

14 comments:

  1. OK. I want all the reunion details.

    Hope your reunion isn't like mine. I had to lose like 25 lbs in 2 days.

    Can't wait to hear about the new products...

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  2. What is this Murad kit of which you speak?

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  3. Ugh. May. Month of end of year meetings AND endless awards banquets. Lobster Bisque? Score! Around here I like to think of May as the month of the three Ps: Pomposity, Pontification and Petrified Chicken a la King.

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  4. Empress: I have to lose 30 pounds in two weeks. And that's not even factoring in the face lift.

    Bird: I edited the post to add a picture--I bought the Murad Resurgence 90-day starter kit and I can't even remember why I picked that particular line. Was it the wine doing the Amazon 1-click? I think perhaps it was.

    Joie: You just said a mouthful. Of Chicken a la King.

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  5. Poppy, you didn't need to spend that money, you are already fabulous!

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  6. I know nothing of lunching on boards, but I do know about being a parent of kids in school during May. Every group has games, concerts, banquets, ceremonies, field trips, parties and and and...
    The crescendo is killer.

    My sympathies.

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  7. I was born in May.
    I rest my case.
    And I am DEFINITELY with Middle Aged Woman!

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  8. I went the no-makeup route so the world wouldn't come to an end if I were ever seen without. People are just going to have to get used to me in all my saggy gray glory.

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  9. Keep us updated on how that Murad works for you. Do you already use it? Your skin looks great!

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  10. I got stuck at the lobster soufflé and coconut cake... I'm starving, migrainey again and desperate for anything coconutty.

    Have fun at the AGMs...

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  11. 5 minute Whitestrips? I may actually use those!

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  12. I have a Murad cream and LOVE IT. would marry it. truly.

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  13. To tell you the truth, I'd really rather hear you talk about neutral eye shadow than eat coconut cake myself. I am the Internet ... and I am listening!

    Can't wait to hear how Murad is working out. I've been tempted by a full Obagi system many times (No "As Seen on TV" label, but I think it could still be a quality product ;-)) but have never pulled the trigger.

    Keep us posted!

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.