J. Crew factory new arrivals + coupon code = feeding frenzy

Yes, I'm on a low-buy. This is a well-established fact. I'm not supposed to be buying anything.

I blame J Crew Aficianada, who hangs out over there on the right with the rest of the beauty/style/fashion/perfume blogs I like to read.

The thing is, we're about to head to Florida for our annual weekend in Palm Beach. We'll be staying in a boutique hotel

just two blocks from Worth Avenue.

While there, we'll be meeting friends for dinner at Renato's

and Ta-Boo

and attending two extremely preppy parties at undisclosed locations.*

I will even be attending a polo game. Hats will be worn.

And apparently, martini glasses full of dessert will be harvested from trees

Resort wear is called for. Obviously.

And OK, I have a closet full of a few Lilly dresses. Some them even fit. But I've been packing the same clothes for this trip for a few years now. I thought a refresher was in order. So when I saw that there was a coupon code for 20 percent off, I headed to the J Crew Factory store.

The first thing I wanted to buy was a new white tunic.

Back in the days when I sang, I had a closet full of what might tactfully be described as "waiter wear." You know—black pants and white blouses. Well, one of these white blouses was a gorgeous Lafayette 148 white cotton tunic trimmed with clear sequins. I loved it. I still love it. But I can't find it. So to punish myself for being careless and/or air-headed, I thought I'd buy a less expensive replacement.

Factory Pom-Pom tunic $52.50

I found this in the lounge wear section because it is considered a swimsuit cover-up ... let's hope it's not so sheer that people can count the hooks on my bra.**

I can wear this (if it's not too sheer) over these attractive, yet slightly short pants:

Factory Skimmer Pant in Timeless Turquoise, $51.50

or these ones, which were even cheaper:

Skimmer pant in cotton oxford, Bungalow Blue, $33.99

And even though my record with J. Crew shoes is spotty, I took a risk and bought some flats

Factory Classic D'Orsay flats in Floral Denim, $86.00

because sometimes, I'm not in the mood for sandals. (Because sometimes, I'm not in the mood to worry about getting an em-effing pedicure. You know what I'm saying?)***

Finally, dresses.

My favorite thing in the world is a solid color dress that I can accessorize into an em-effing pulp. Again, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? And I have an embarrassing number of scarves that would probably go great with this shade of lilac.

Also, I'm intrigued by the fact that it's 100 percent wool. I'm expecting—nay, hoping—that this wool will be tissue thin and therefore something I can wear when it gets much warmer than the current -17 degrees C./0 degrees F. we're experiencing in Chicago.

Tailored Shift Dress in Cool Lilac Light-Weight Wool, $89.50

Pretty, right? And I love the neckline.

But to be honest, I'm not sanguine about this dress. I love the color, but I'm concerned about the sleeve holes. Notice how the neckline angles in? That could mean visible bra straps—or worse.

You ask incredulously, "What's worse than visible bra straps, Poppy?" Well, I find that a lot of sleeveless dresses are cut with enormous arm holes that have a tendency to show way too much of the upper, outer quadrant of my brassière. You know, where the cool kids are flashing their side boob.

Of course, because it's wool, this dress might not work at all for Florida, in which case it would work during what passes for spring in Chicago. When it would be accessorized with a cardigan, thus taking care of that pesky bra strap situation.

Finally, I bought this. Which is polyester and might look even cheaper than it appears through the rose-tinted glasses of my computer screen. But at least will not show my bra.

Laser-Cut Cap-Sleeve Dress in Timeless Turquoise, $94.50

Honestly, having written out my so-called "line of reasoning," I'm practically already on the way to the post office to return this stuff. Except it hasn't arrived yet.


* This is what extremely polite and grateful people say instead of naming the private clubs that for some reason, people who should know better are allowing them the opportunity to enjoy for one brief shining dinner-dance and/or brunch. 

** Don't worry; my Lingerie Battle Station is equipped with camisoles in white, nude, and black. Some of them even contain a hell of a lot of spandex, capable of shoving my muffin top down to my kneecaps.  I hope.

*** My friend Angie introduced me to Trailer Park Boys. This explains why I'm talking like J-Roc. So now, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.