I'm bopping around the internet checking out the clearance sales and new arrivals and honestly, I have seen some really astonishingly hideous stuff that is begging to be mocked. Except in many cases, words fail me. I could provide an amusing rant about a single item, but the Saks website's clearance section, even when narrowed down to items that would actually fit me, consists of thirty pages of eye-rollers. After a while, I was speechless. Yes, literally speechless.
And then I came upon an item at Nordstrom. Let's see if I've conceptualized my take on it sufficiently clearly.
What would happen if this
You'd get this
which can be yours for the low, low price of $328.98.
But wait—it gets better! These "boots" also come in Winter White. In case you think black is too slimming.
Honestly, if my feet hurt so much that this—how can I put this tactfully—"Hazmat footwear" sums it up best, I suppose—were my only option ... I'd stay home.