She wants 2 lead the glamorous life.

Yes, internet, I too can add depth to my entries by quoting song lyrics that will resonate oh-so-powerfully with my readers.

Yes, anyone who spent their tormented teenaged years hanging around in their bedrooms listening to Sheila E. records and doing their best to understand the deep inner meaning of the lyrics will appreciate my homage to the cheesey pop music of my formative years. The rest of you? Not so much.

But anyway, enough about Sheila E. Or Prince. We're not talking about him. Or the Power Revolution. Or Purple Rain, and was it actually pretty good, or was it basically some good music videos and a lot of self-indulgence?

Because this entry isn't about Prince. Or Morris Day and the Time. Or even Sheila E.

Hee!

No, it's about how I had the most glamorous morning possible on Friday. Really, it was like a housewife's wet dream.

First I went to the beauty salon and had my hair shampooed and blown out, and got a manicure and pedicure. Then I sauntered with twinkling nails and bouncing and behaving hair into a local shoe store where I bought myself a pair of gold kidskin sandals


and a little gold minaudiere. (Because I'm worth it.)

Then I headed to the gym to work out with my trainer. (Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.)

See? A perfect morning. But then the Stonyfield Farms YoKids yogurt (with ProBiotics) decided to come up with a whole new meaning for the phrase--so ubiquitous on yogurt containers--with active cultures. And I got food poisoning.

Which explains why, instead of being at a glamorous black-tie event on Friday night, I was at home.

With my head in a toilet.