So here's the news:
My kids each had a friend over last night AND EVERYONE SURVIVED.
Last night a storm knocked a huge branch off a tree in the back yard AND IT MISSED THE NEWLY INSTALLED AIR CONDITIONER BY A MERE SIX INCHES, YET NOTHING WAS DESTROYED.
Today when I was taking the kids home, I couldn't get out of my driveway because some asshole had parked a van across the end of it, blocking my access to the street. I left my car in park and headed over to the van to investigate. Surely the asshole who parked his van there left the keys nearby? And then the van's owner came running up with the keys, and told me I could move his truck. I told him, unh unh, nope, it was his truck and he should move it. And that in case he didn't understand these niceties, preventing someone from driving out of her driveway was not considered the done thing. And he and I exchanged a few sentences that were quite strongly worded, AND YET I DID NOT KILL HIM.