Not only do I have a cold,
not only do I still not have a Christmas tree,
not only have I finished a week with four performances by my children and three by me by having to listen to my son rap a Christmas version of YMCA ("X-M-A-S") and completely forget the words to his solo,
but in one minute,
it'll be my birthday.
Internet, you know how people say they're not getting any younger? I really am not getting any younger.
Seriously, the past week has put a good half decade on me.