Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A data dump, because otherwise I'll never manage to post again.

OMG, people. I'd tell you that real life has me by the balls, except I don't have any. And I have so much to do today, I can't stand it. So I'm going to do the blogging equivalent of what I do when I haven't written my mother a letter in a really long time and the stuff I need to tell her keeps mounting higher and higher and I get carpal tunnel syndrome just thinking of how many pages I'll have to write to get her up to speed.

(My mother is old skool and expects written letters.) But sometimes the idea of writing everything down is overwhelming, and I have to just dump the data. So I call her up and babble at her for an hour.

So let's pretend that I called you up, and you asked me how I was.

1. As soon as Christmas was over, I got going on Operation Get The Girl Child Into a Private School, because honestly? I really don't see her doing all that well at the huge John Hughes-ish high school in our district.

So there were campus visits and shadow days and SSATs and application-writing. The good news is the more we found out about the local private schools, the more we realized that only one would really work for her, so that's the only school she had to apply to. But then? She didn't get in. So that accounts for about six weeks of being crazily busy, culminating with much time spent comforting the girl child.

2. The many Clean House mini-marathons I've watched since discovering this amazing show have inspired me to really take charge of my house, but the cleaning alone is overwhelming--and that's not even dealing with the clutter. And I think I'm getting a little compulsive. I mean, I'm sitting here thinking about how I really need to mop the kitchen floor.

3. I haven't been talking about style because my shopping has been confined to Christmas presents and the cleaning product aisle of the supermarket--with occasional trips to Bed Bath and Beyond for closet stuff.

4. In related news, how did I not know about the wonders of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser before now? I bought one a long time ago and discovered it sitting in my broom closet, still in the package. But when I opened it up and tried it on a stubborn scuff mark on a baseboard, the clouds parted and a chorus of angels began to sing. And then I ran around looking for stubborn scuff marks to clean. I also did an entire bathroom floor, at which point, the plump, exuberant, snow white Mr. Clean Magic Eraser was reduced to a sad, skimpy festered lily--that's how much fun I was having.

5. You should see what a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser does for a stainless steel kitchen sink that has been sullied with tea and coffee stains. Shines it right up.

6. I'm thinking of using a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser on my teeth.

7. Just kidding.

8. Blackbird tells me she approves of the rebooted Talbots. Have you checked it out? Everyone talked about the new Burberry and the new Brooks Brothers and the new this and the new that, but where's the love for the new Talbots? I tell you what: I've picked up a few things there and have been deliriously happy. The latest is these gold hidden platform sandals

which are lovely and retro and astonishingly comfortable.

9. Recently, Jen and Wendy and Susie Sunshine and Blackbird and I had a combination girls' weekend/Tour of Homes, where we checked out Wendy's addition and Casa Fletchcaster and my place too, although with all the Mr. Clean Magic Erasing, I'm surprised there was anything left to see.

Interested parties were also treated to Jen and Poppy's John Hughes movie location tour. We visited Kevin's house from Home Alone, the park where Kevin visits Santa, Cameron's House from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Jake Ryan's house from 16 Candles.

When I admitted to never having seen 16 Candles, we had a movie night and watched it. And I'm so glad I did, for several reasons. First of all, Anthony Michael Hall is completely adorable in 16 Candles, which is great because he makes me a little crazy in The Breakfast Club. Also, Jen wasn't giving us any of her home-made lasagna until we'd watched the movie, and the lasagna was incredible.

10. Jen gave us all pre-publication copies of her latest book and first novel, If You Were Here. John Hughes cognoscenti will understand the title, which I understand now too, courtesy of our movie night. Anyway, I read it and it's great. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. If you like Jen's books and/or John Hughes movies, you'll love it.

11. And here's an extra bit of data as a GWP: I recently made a complete fool out of myself by calling on my twitter army to shame Crate and Barrel into delivering the sectional I ordered from them in October. This was pretty much of a total failure, since I have no twitter minions to speak of. Still, if you'd like to see how a baby boomer who grew up watching syndicated episodes of Gilligan's Island uses social media to bend a major corporation to her will, check out my twitter stream.


  1. Re: the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, you mean you don't remember that time I got interviewed by Allure magazine and they asked me for my favorite products and I told them, but then the reporter saw on the Lipstick blog that I used the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to remove self-tanner mistakes and asked me if she could print that, and I told her she might want to run it by Allure's attorneys because I was pretty sure that wasn't an approved use of the product, but she didn't do that and printed it anyway and the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser people sent me emails demanding that I retract what I said about using it on my skin because you're not supposed to do that, and then I hated Allure magazine for being stupid like that?

    Really? You don't remember that?


    Also, that sucks about your girl child's school. SUCKS. Here's hoping there's a satisfactory Plan B at the ready!

  2. Kathy, I totally remember about the whole self-tanner/Allure magazine/disclaimer brouhaha, and that might be why I purchased a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser in the first place. Except that experience has taught me that self-tanner really isn't for me. So I never used my Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It just sat in my broom closet until I finally decided that, with the help of Niecy Nash, Mark Brunetz, Matt Iseman, and Trish Suhr, I was Going To Do Something About This Hell Hole.

    And by the way, have we met? You look awfully familiar. Hee!

  3. wait. You had never seen 16 Candles??? OMG. No wonder Jen wouldn't give you lasagna.

    You've seen A Christmas Story, right?

  4. I think the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser sponge has some kind of drug in it. When I pull mine out from under the sink I CANNOT STOP until it is a little withered grey speck.

    I do totally remember when that happened to, um, Kathy.

    And, truly? She didn't get in? What next?

  5. Wow, very funcycle lifestyle story. Writing seems to be great just as long that it isn't too much!Interesting!

  6. I am sorry to be the party crasher but that Magic eraser doesn't work on our walls here in Italyland. It leaves horrendous shiny streaks and the second I realized I stopped immedietely using it.
    The streaks are there though.
    Anyhoo, lovely to hear from you (aside from the bummer school incident).

  7. I need to re-post because my first one sounded too snarky. I am just jealous that you know Jen IRL.

    But seriously -- watch A Christmas Story if you haven't yet. Too many cultural references to miss!

  8. Mary A., I saw the Christmas Story when it was first released. And frankly, I've never understood how it became such a favorite. But at least I know where "you'll shoot your eye out came from."

    "Kathy," Bird and Paola--I just used my MCME on the piano keys. Whitened them right up! Which means I'm that much closer to using it on my teeth.

  9. Stop calling Badger, "Kathy." It's freaking me out. I find 'Christmas Story' annoying, but love '16 Candles' so much! Will your girl go to John Hughes High now?

  10. Wonderful to see you back and totally understand the data dump. Whew! Now you can breathe!

  11. I watched Christmas Story recently and it had lost all charm for me.

    16 Candles and BC stand up for me. My former fave, Pretty in Pink did not. Andie seems a lot more scary crazy and less adorably outsider indie hip.

    What will you do about school?!

  12. I need to get a Mr. Clean eraser. If it works on my sink I'm going to try it on my soul.

    And have you ever noticed that if you write to someone once a week, you have gobs of stuff to say, but if you wait a year, you can't think of anything? Some sort of Law of Diminishing Relevance is going on, there.

  13. Talbots has a tonne of pretty stuff these days and mirabil dictu...much of it comes in plus sizes...which most of the stores don't carry.

  14. Yeah, maybe the Euro Magic Eraser is not so great, because it does work in Engaland either...

    But I like it best when you blog about your life (including your mother who requires handwritten letters). So, what happens, once she is comforted, when the child doesn't get into the only school that will suit her?

  15. i just want to come to another rooftop cocktail party.


  16. Magic Erasers changed my life. Almost as much as having my groceries delivered did.

    Love your blog!


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xxx, Poppy.